Taken 2: Giving The People What They Want

I can be a bit slow on the upkeep at times, so it’s no surprise that I was confused as to why the Liam Neeson beat-‘em-up movie Taken was on air somewhere every time I turned on the TV this weekend. Duh…I found out this morning that the trailer for Taken 2 was released a week or so ago.

My reaction was basically the same as this guy’s from AskMen.com. So, if you want a smarter sounding version of what I’m about to say, click that. If you want someone to clumsily parrot his thoughts, you’ve come to the right place.

The sequel looks like the same movie as the 1st one except this time Neeson is the hunted instead of the hunter. All of those evil, sex-trafficker, thug types that Neeson’s character 86-ed in the original? Well, let’s just say it looks like their families didn’t find that outcome satisfactory. Other than that, the premise of the movie looks basically the same as Taken. It appears that Neeson’s wife, who will be known from here on as Jean Grey from X-Men, is the kidnapping victim this time instead of the annoying girl from Lost. Don’t worry…annoying Lost chick is still there, although somewhere in between the end of the 1st movie where she was practicing to be a pop star and the sequel she apparently learned how to leap across buildings. The trailer for Taken 2 even shows a phone convo between the head Albanian boss dude and Neeson that is almost a carbon copy of the scene from Taken number 1, but not nearly as good: “This is not a game. I will finish this thing. You will just have to die.” What the f*** is that?!?

Still, it looks like Taken 2 will be much more satisfying than most sequels. Often times, writers and directors will get too cutesy in episode 2 and stray too far away from what we liked about the 1st installment to begin with. Even though I was skeptical of Neeson playing some kind of Jason Bourne role when Taken came out, it oddly worked the 1st time around. And if they give us the same exact formula of Neeson beating up baddies left and right for another movie or 2, I will be entertained. Plus, what’s not to like about the Dos Equis “most interesting man in the world” guy playing the big evil bossman!?!

Yes, that is an original meme by yours truly. Yes, you will see why it doesn't actually work in about 2 seconds...

Ok, so that’s not actually him. It’s actually this guy, who might as well be a dead ringer…stay thirsty, my friends. I will see the movie anyway, but if it was the Dos Equis guy I would have paid to see Taken 2 for that reason alone. Either way, it’s already been shown that the formula works…even if it means having to deal with more screen time for Jean Grey and the girl everyone hated from Lost. Oh well, you can’t win ‘em all.