A Better Kind Of Mediocre, Snap Judgments About The Terps, And The Move To The B1G

I have already written on here countless times about the plight of longstanding Washington Redskins’ fans. Since their last Super Bowl victory, the Redskins have been largely irrelevant…and they haven’t done it by suffering through a bunch of miserable 3-13 seasons. In fact, since my fandom began (1991), they have had only 1 season with a record that bad, and have only been 4-12 twice. Now, that’s not exactly a glowing review, but you would think those types of records would be more commonplace for a franchise that has only been above 0.500 5 times in that same span of time. No, instead the Redskins have wallowed in seemingly endless mediocrity, finishing with a record somewhere between 6-10 and 9-7 an astounding 12 times since 1992. They never seem to bottom-out and start from scratch; always creating the illusion that they aren’t that bad and are only a player or 2 away from contending. Well, as a result they have gotten pretty predictable over the years to me at least. Year by year, I can sniff-out an out-of-the-blue upset of a top-tier team just as easily as an ugly loss to 1 of the league’s bottom-feeders…but not this year. No, this year RG3 has thrown a monkey wrench into my prognostication skills. In pick ‘em leagues and other NFL pools over the years, I usually had my pulse on the Skins from week to week even if my overall pick record continued to submarine. For Washington’s games for the year, I’m 5-6 picking winners and only 4-7 picking against the spread (compare that to picking 2 out of every 3 winners and just a shade under half of the games against the spread correctly for the league as a whole). So, while the Redskins are almost a lock to fall into that “mediocre record” range once again this season, at least there have been a few pleasant surprises along the way. With a weak returning supporting cast, an $18 million cap penalty, and a starting rookie quarterback, I was bracing myself for 1 of those 3-13 type seasons though…I guess I can be satisfied with mediocre just this once.

You can't see me...no, actually we literally can't see you thanks to your blurry f***ing hand.

On a different note, I happened to catch the 2nd half of the Terps game last night…I have caught 2 halves of Maryland games so far this year: the 2nd half of their opening game against Kentucky and the last 20 minutes last night against Northwestern. For both of those 2nd halves, they looked pretty damn good to me, which is a surprise given the state of their roster this past spring. Now, it’s still probably way too early to get all hot and bothered about this team. We’ll wait until ACC play opens up to do that. Also, aside from the 2 halves of basketball I’ve watched, the Terps have played pretty inconsistently in every other game (even in the 1st halves of the 2 games mentioned prior, where turnovers and poor outside shooting plagued them) so far this year by all accounts. But while playing a creampuff schedule so far outside of those 2 games, they have worked their way to 5-1 out of the gate. And while they don’t necessarily possess 2 things that most great college basketball teams have (great backcourt play and perimeter shooting), they also seem to have things that most college teams don’t have nowadays: size and a deep roster filled with athletes. Most college teams (and pro too for that matter) have gone the way of Duke recently, perhaps playing 1 true big guy at a time while spacing the floor with 4 shooters, and the teams with the best athletes don’t seem to go more than 7 or 8 deep for some reason. The Terps appear to have the ability to go 9 or 10 deep if they want, and they have close to NBA size at every position.

Remember last year when Alex Len looked awkward and lost most of the time? This just in: he's turned into a beast.

The odd thing about last night’s ACC-Big 10 Challenge matchup was that it was somewhat of a glimpse into the future of what life will be like once Maryland switches conferences. Could last night’s game be a potential rivalry preview? I don’t know…it just doesn’t have the same ring to it as going into a hostile Cameron Indoor Stadium. It does seem kind of funny that Maryland always considered itself the red-headed step-child to schools like Duke and UNC in terms of basketball, and leaving for the Big 10 resembles Maryland taking its ball and going home. In reality, it has nothing to do with that. It’s all about money, and theoretically if Duke or anyone else in the ACC could get into a conference that would better benefit them financially they wouldn’t hesitate about jumping ship either. As a fan, it’s still tough to wrap your head around though. I can’t envision Maryland students camping outside the Comcast Center to score tickets to the big Maryland-Purdue game…but I suppose only time will tell…doesn’t mean I can’t be salty about it though.

Finally, enjoy a random, creepy, yet hysterically funny (to me at least) picture I came across on the Google Machine today. It's on the house.

So good, girl.

Bring On The Turkey: Romp Against Philly Was Nice, But Now The Skins Are Fighting Against Thanksgiving History

Better late than never, but can I just say that it was nice to not have to sweat out a Redskins’ win for once? If they’re not trying to put together a drive to tie or win the game late in the 4th quarter, they are testing their fans’ nerves by forcing them to watch a porous defense keep the other team out of the end zone late in the game. Even if you look at a game like the one against the Vikings earlier this year, the final score makes it look like they won comfortably. Truth be told, Washington had the game in control most of the afternoon until they began their 2nd half collapse. If RG3 doesn’t put on his cape and score on that long 4th quarter run, who knows what happens?

So when the Skins beat down the tanking Philadelphia Eagles last Sunday, it was a rare source of joy for me. According to the team’s official website, they hadn’t outscored an opponent by 25 or more since 2007! That’s 5 seasons worth of either wanting to vomit because they were getting beat so bad or at least not being able to have a comfortable heart rate every time the Skins are playing. Thank you, Washington Redskins…you have probably knocked 3 or 4 years off my life expectancy.

It certainly helped that the Eagles look like an absolute mess right now…blowing coverages, not generating any pass rush, turning the ball over, and, maybe more than anything, throwing the ball seemingly every down (despite having a rookie quarterback making his 1st NFL start). This would stink of the head coach begging for someone to fire him, but anyone who has watched Philly games over the last decade and a half knows this is Andy Reid’s MO. He wants to throw the ball every play. It doesn’t matter that usually the best player he has on the field, whether that’s Brian Westbrook or Shady McCoy, is his running back. He can’t help himself. Last Sunday, with rookie Nick Foles under center and a decimated offensive line, the Eagles dropped back to throw 51 times by my count from looking at the box score.

The worst part is that McCoy and backup Bryce Brown averaged 4 yards a carry between them for the game. But that doesn’t seem to ever matter with Reid, who if he is faced with a 2nd 3 after a 7 yard run on 1st down will gladly call plays to chuck it somewhere on the next 2 downs (and then usually punt on 4th down). His record will prove that he has mostly been a very good coach, but I’m not sure he could ever be reasoned with on this subject.

Ironically and to the bewilderment of many, McCoy was out there running the ball (and getting concussed) late in the 4th quarter though.

As for my Skins, they travel to Dallas tomorrow for the dreaded Thanksgiving afternoon game with the Cowboys. Most football fans would probably find this to be a good thing. You stuff your face with turkey and plop down in front of the TV to watch football every Thanksgiving anyway. Why wouldn’t you want your team to have the spotlight, the good announcers, and the timeslot all to themselves? Well, the Redskins have never beaten the Cowboys on Turkey Day in 6 tries. Most of my Redskins-Thanksgiving memories revolve around Emmitt Smith running rampant on Washington’s D (twice) and Danny Wuerffel checking down to his backs and tight ends for 3 yard gains on 3rd and 8 all afternoon long. No doubt I will be watching from the comfort of the elastic drawstring of my sweatpants regardless…it’s probably wishful thinking of me to hope that I won’t have to sweat this one out too.

Even the old, brittle version of Smith could bust out for 100-plus against Washington on Thanksgiving.

Friday Fluff: Thursday Night NFL Garbage And Hot Pockets...So Good, Girl

Simply put, the NFL has got to do something about these Thursday night games. I love the Thanksgiving games, even the 3rd night game that was added a few years back. I liked how late season Thursday night games were added to the schedule several years ago as well. While I don’t have the facts in front of me, it seems like those games were “flexed” to ensure at least a halfway decent matchup. However, this season long Thursday night schedule is garbagio. The 3 days of rest instead of the normal 6 seems unfair to those teams, and it errors on the side of hypocrisy given the league’s perceived concerns about injuries as of late. It screws up everyone’s fantasy leagues, as our internal lineup-checking clock is naturally geared to Sunday, not Thursday night. Furthermore, unless there’s a marquee matchup, the games are mostly irrelevant and forgotten. Giants-Panthers, Ravens-Browns, Rams-Cardinals, Titans-Steelers, Buccaneers-Vikings, Chargers-Chiefs, Colts-Jaguars, and now Bills-Dolphins…those are 8 of the 10 Thursday night games this year so far. The last few weeks of the year offer better games, but the games previously mentioned are all, as I said before, garbagio.

I don't know, Patrick Stewart...I really don't know.

I consider myself a diehard NFL fan, but I must confess that I didn’t watch a single minute of last night’s game between the Bills and Dolphins. And apparently the sports world didn’t care much about it either. On Friday morning, Foxsports.com had no mention of the game on their homepage. ESPN.com and Yahoosports.com contained no picture or major stories on the game either, but there were links to the game result in the 9th and 5th headlines on those pages, respectively. No one cares. So, NFL, either somehow work it so you show better games on Thursdays, or get off the air that night. (By the way, the Bills beat the Dolphins 19-14 in an epic AFC East clash.)

I know I pay too much attention to TV commercials, but has anyone seen this Hot Pockets ad?

Hot Pockets? Does it strike anyone else as slightly inappropriate? I am all for using sex to sell food products (think those old Uncle Ben’s Rice Bowl ads), but Hot Pockets? The microwaveable snack that soccer moms stuff in their kids’ faces before they run out the door to a PTA meeting? Yes, those Hot Pockets…I’m not sure what part got me more, the guy’s awkward sex noises, or the uglier version of Lisa Marie Presley diving into said Hot Pocket like she’s going in for “the money shot.” And there’s using sexiness to sell your product, but there’s also blatantly cheesy porno-ish advertising too. I kind of see what they were going for, trying to add some spice and humor to their commercials, but damn…it’s definitely memorable, in an uncomfortable did I really just see that sort of way. Good job by you, Hot Pockets.

The Antonio Gates Fantasy Football Problem

Sup, nerds…it’s been a minute since my last post on here. Actually, my post per month average has taken a steady dip since mid-summer, and November has been completely update-less halfway through the month. It’s been a bad time to go cold too, what with the heart of the NFL season opening up and the tipoffs of the pro and college basketball seasons (it might be time to dust off the NBA Power Rankings soon). And no, I wasn’t just dodging my RG3-Luck post or the Redskins’ losing streak. Since that last blog, Griffin (who is still playing very well individually) has sunk behind Andrew Luck and Doug Martin (of all people) in the Rookie of the Year race, and Washington has dropped to a very stinky 3-6.

One thing I have taken care not to write about is my fantasy team, as I’m currently only 5-5, but I have been somewhat hot as of late, winning 4 out of the last 5 weeks. The “somewhat” is appropriate because I still rank dead last out of 12 teams in total points scored this season, my opponents during those 4 wins averaged only 83.5 points per week, and my current healthy running back options are Shonn Greene, Jonathan Stewart, and Alex Green…yeah, not much to write home about there…which just goes to show that hot streaks are usually equal parts your own doing and just plain luck in most situations. If there’s one thing that has kept me flummoxed all season though, I have 2 words: Antonio Gates.

Believe me, I know what it’s like to root for a franchise whose owner treats the roster like his own fantasy football team. I’ve seen my share of Deion Saunders, Bruce Smiths, and Donovan McNabbs roll through town, all past their primes by the time they got to Washington, all basically mediocre players with humongous price tags during their time in burgundy and gold. Well, actual fantasy football owners can be guilty of being too “fantasy” as well.

I thought I had blocked this from my memory, but I guess not.

Such was my luck with Gates, who I’ve coveted but never been able to get ever since my 1st fantasy football team in 2006. For many years, I think the fantasy universe regarded tight ends as only slightly more valuable than kickers and defenses. If you were lucky enough to get Gates or Jason Witten, then that was actually a great value. Even so, I drafted Witten in a league a few years ago, but so desperate was I to get either him or Gates that I probably reached for him a round or 2 too early, and it was the main reason that season went south in a hurry.

You could argue for guys like Tony Gonzalez or Dallas Clark too, but either way the dropoff from the top shelf fantasy tight ends to the 2nd tier seemed substantial enough that you could basically play position roulette every week if you wanted, dropping and adding tight ends based on matchups, who had been hot of late, or any other tea leave reading methods you could think of. Oddly enough though, guys like Gates, Witten, and Gonzalez paved the way for what can probably be considered the golden age of tight ends. With rule changes in recent years that favor the passing game, teams have targeted freak-of-nature, hybrid type tight ends in their scouting, and almost half the teams in the league have 1 of these NBA power forward lookalikes: Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez, Jimmy Graham, Vernon Davis, and on and on and on.

This year in our league Graham was picked as someone’s keeper, and Gronkowski was picked in the following round. In the 4th round, there were better players available and probably better tight ends as well (no other tight ends had been taken up to that point), but I had heard good things about Gates coming out of the preseason. He was motivated by all these younger tight ends coming into the league taking his shine. He was the healthiest he had been in years.

F*** my life.

I couldn’t help myself. I had wanted Gates for 6 years. There he was. I took him, but regretted it almost immediately. Reggie Bush, Darren Sproles, and Percy Harvin were selected just a few picks later. The run of tight ends didn’t start until a round or 2 after my Gates pick. This was a “Daniel Snyder” pick: a once great player who still had flashes, but was mostly just a decent to good player and a name on the back of a jersey at this point.

What’s been most frustrating is that Gates hasn’t been a complete bust this year. If he was or had gotten seriously injured, I could have dropped him and cut my losses. Gates started off the year with 4 games under 60 yards receiving and no touchdowns. He was a scratch minutes before kickoff in week 2, which I didn’t see in enough time to edit my lineup, causing me to take a bagel for him that particular week (so much for feeling healthy).

At that point, I had seen enough. Owen Daniels had been sitting on my bench as the Texans leader in almost every receiving category almost every week up until that point in the season. I benched Gates, and he responded with 81 yards and 2 scores against Denver. In week 7, Gates had a bye, but Daniels had a bye the following week leaving me stuck with Gates, who had only 14 yards against the Browns. At that point, I had thought Gates’ week 6 game was nothing short of an aberration. With Daniels in my week 9 and 10 lineups, Gates found the end zone both weeks. (Daniels was out for Houston’s game against the Bears, but in the infamous “Yahoo crash of 2012,” I was stuck with him.)

On the year, Daniels has Gates beat in receiving yards and touchdowns, and he has tallied about 20 more fantasy points in our league. But you would think that I would want to ride Gates moving forward (the hot hand)…however, San Diego’s offense is not the explosive system it was several years ago. Phillip Rivers seems to have regressed in the past season or 2. LaDainian Tomlinson, Vincent Jackson, and Sproles are long gone, which means more double teams and defensive attention for Gates. And there just seems to be an overall unsteadiness with the team that makes it hard to predict what you’re going to get week to week. (See the Chargers' and Gates’ clunker of a game referenced above against the lowly Browns.)

So it looks like another lost season at the tight end position for me, and I will probably play tight end roulette with Gates and Daniels for the rest of the season, which is never fun. It should be a 50-50 proposition, but it feels like I pick the player who has the worse game 80% of the time. At least I will be able to look back and say that I once had Antonio Gates on my fantasy team…sike.