He Does It Again: Romo the Bozo

When I left the Dallas-Green Bay game yesterday, the game was well in hand for the Cowboys. It was halftime, and America’s Team had just gone up 26-3 with a 1 yard DeMarco Murray touchdown plunge just before halftime. The game was all but over, and it looked like the hated Cowboys would prove their overrated-ness once again, beating up on yet another hapless foe at home after being rag-dolled the week before on the road against another playoff contender. As I was heading back to the TV set from where I had previously ventured off to, I got word from the magic of a mobile device that Green Bay had somehow taken the lead! Minutes later, I found out the game was over: Green Bay 37, Dallas 36. My one singular thought in that moment: how did Tony Romo f*** it up this time?

Ahh, the familiar Tony Romo walk-o-shame.

Romo’s plight is part his own doing and partly the result of being the face of the most overhyped, overpraised, and overrated team in American professional sports of the last 10-15 years. (As a lifelong Redskins’ fan, I can at least take some solace in this as Washington lost again yesterday. I’ve decided to go mute about the Skins until season’s end, when I can properly rant and vent away my frustrations.) Playing quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys is probably the most glamorous position in all of sports, and an idea that Romo is smart enough to understand the ramifications of. So, when he fumbles, intercepts, or foibles away another meaningful game somehow, someway, one more time, he knows his head is going to wind up on a stick that week no matter how gaudy his numbers look.

Romo’s main problem continues to be his miserable record in December. But the counterargument to that is always made that his numbers stack up with just about any quarterback in the league over the last 5 to 10 seasons, and others (bad coaches, a bad defense, etc.) are always more to blame. But much like the Cowboys themselves, those numbers are inflated to a large degree. Again yesterday, some of Romo’s numbers looked very nice on their own: 60% completion rate, 358 yards throwing, and 2 touchdowns. But those numbers don’t include 2 critical late game interceptions, and the decision to audible to a throw instead of turn around and hand the ball off to Murray on 1 of those plays…however, personally I wonder how many times Romo audibles to a pass throughout the course of a game.

You see, not only is Romo overrated by all of us, he also seems like (nice of a guy as he seems) to overrate himself. His numbers might be nearly as good as Tom Brady’s, Peyton Manning’s, or Drew Brees’, but he’s not any of those guys…but Romo believes the hype, and thinks he is. If you’ve read anything coming out of Dallas this year, you know that Romo is extremely involved in the Cowboys’ offensive gameplanning, and he seems to have full authority to change the play at any time based on what he sees. More often than not (and DeMarco Murray fantasy owners, like myself, will nod their heads silently to this), it seems like he’s audibling to a pass play. He simply gets too cute with his audibling at times. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady he is not, who both check to different plays at the line all the time, but who also have no problem changing the play to a run…and doing so over and over again if they see it's working.

Hence the true issue to yesterday’s game: word is that on the game-changing interception, Romo changed the call from a pass to a run at the line. But that play was indicative of the whole 2nd half, as the Cowboys only rushed the ball a whopping 7 times as a team after intermission. That is all while holding 2nd half leads at various times of 26-10, 29-10, 29-17, 29-24, 36-24, and 36-31. Now, you can spread some blame to Dallas’ pitiful defense and seemingly inept coaching staff if you want, but to me much of the blame rests on Romo and his ego. It’s hard for me to fathom that an offensive coordinator with that lead at that point in the game would call for so few runs.

What’s worse about the whole thing is that Murray ran for 134 yards on only 18 carries…he basically averaged an absurd 2 1st downs every 3 touches…and yet Dallas is still chucking it around nearly 50 times a game. This has become a familiar pattern, as Murray had a similar line of 146 yards on 18 totes the week before in Chicago. Their defense showed to be abysmal in that game also, but one wonders why not ride your stud running back a little more with a bad defense, especially when he’s producing like that. (This has been true for Romo’s entire Dallas tenure, as I always fear the Cowboys just deciding to run the ball 50 times – whether it’s Murray or Felix Jones or Marion Barber or whoever – when playing Washington. What I don’t fear is Tony Romo, as I know he’s probably going to try to give away the game at some point somehow.)

Cowboy fans and DeMarco Murray fantasy owners alike had similar reactions yesterday.

Instead, Romo will probably get a pass for his performance once again. His numbers are just so good otherwise, and he seems like such a nice fella, and he looks like he’s trying oh-so-hard. And yet he really has no one to blame but himself for his failures to this point. The aww shucks attitude isn’t fooling me anymore…ego and hubris strike again.

Ad Nauseum: Will It Make This Blog Pop Off?

After watching my hapless Redskins complete the transformation from not great team that could still possibly get hot and make a postseason run at some point to terrible team that puts me in a state of depression every time I watch to un-salvageable trainwreck of a team who absurd leaked stories about now seem completely plausible, there wasn't much that could put me in a better mood...and then NBA TV kept running and rerunning and rerunning this Best Buy Beats Pill ad. It is admittedly stupid and yet is undeniably brilliant on some level at the same time. And the fact that I kept replaying it on my iPhone to the point where Krissy could only roll her eyes at me is only more proof that it had to be posted here. No other context needed...you're welcome.

Ad Nauseum: 2013 Basketball Sneaker Commercials for Your Viewing Pleasure

Having not posted anything new in weeks, naturally my 1st update would be some nonsensical ramblings about TV commercials…naturally. But in the last few weeks, with the NBA season revving up, it was hard to ignore ads for basketball sneakers. Over the last twenty years, you could argue that there aren’t many consumer goods that have ruled the world more so than basketball high tops…and being a semi-reformed sneaker-head, I admit I have been part of the problem, not the solution. Traditionally, we are used to seeing very smart, clever, and eye-popping TV spots run by Nike and their Jordan brand, but Adidas and Reebok (which I think is owned by Adidas now) have recently ramped up some of their ads to try to compete. The results have been mixed. 1st of all, Nike still rules the world of sneakers like the Evil Empire over a galaxy far, far away. 2nd, I would put Nike’s advertizing and marketing departments on the highest level of genius for anyone in those fields for any company in the world.

One reason for this success is partly luck. When there is a choice, Nike always seem to pick the right guys to back or vice versa. Maybe it’s part shrewdness too, but outside of possessing super-human powers of fortune-telling, no one could have predicted Derrick Rose would suffer 2 major knee injuries in a year and a half. I think it would be pretty dumb to assume any shoe pusher would not want D-Rose in their stable of athletes, but the fact that Adidas’ numero uno is an again-injured Rose while Nike rolls out more fresh LeBrons and KDs doesn’t hurt their appearance in the least bit. The series of Rose ads that have basically been playing since he got hurt 2 springs ago are actually really, really good on their own…which just serves to highlight how sad Rose’s latest injury is. For the record, I was picking last in the 1st round of my fantasy basketball league, and took Rose thinking that he was going to have a monster bounce-back year. Sigh.

While the Adidas ad is just depressing, Reebok’s new “Game Recognize Game” commercial is…head-scratching? Honestly, I don’t even know what other adjectives would be appropriate to describe it. This commercial would be fine if it was just a bunch of no-name streetballers, or maybe even if the only recognizable – get it? – guy was Nerlens Noel, a young buck who was the most hyped kid in college basketball last year before blowing out his knee. Plus, it kind of goes with the recent trend of guys coming off injuries making commercial appearances…but we have recent history to prove (the aforementioned D-Rose as well as RG3) that that ad campaign style might spawn some kind of bad shoe company karma. Plus, isn’t Noel out for the season rehabbing? He’s yamming down an off-the-backboard ‘oop in this ad…wait, actually shouldn’t we be making a bigger deal out of this? And I haven’t even gotten to Isaiah Thomas (the one not in the Hall of Fame) and Jason Terry. I actually had to look up who the 3rd guy in the commercial was because I didn’t recognize Thomas without his headband at all. But what makes anyone think Jason Terry is good enough to headline a commercial for anything, much less basketball shoes? And the worst part is he doesn’t even do anything in the commercial! Outlet pass to Thomas and then mean-mug your way back down the court high-fiving the tweens watching from the sidelines. Yeesh…maybe leave the TV commercials to Nike for now, you guys.

Christmas Came Early in the Form of the Chargers for Washington; Season Technically Not Dead Yet

As Phillip Rivers sprinted to his right and threw an incomplete pass on 3rd and goal from the 1 with time trickling down in the 4th quarter, I turned to Krissy and said these exact words: that was a gift. And honestly, I feel like much of the entire W was gifted to Washington yesterday afternoon. The Redskins had been the better team for much of the day, but they did such a p***-poor job in so many aspects at the close of regulation that it was tough not to feel they deserved to lose.

Up 3 with the ball with over 3 minutes to go in the game, they should have been able to chew some clock or at least make San Diego burn all of their timeouts even if they went 3-and-out. Instead, a holding penalty and an incomplete pass allowed the Chargers the ball back before the 2 minute warning with (I believe) their full complement of timeouts.

The Chargers then moved the ball down the field with such ease that you wondered if they were only playing against 9 defenders. Receivers were running around wide open. Rivers’ check-down passes gained large chunks of yardage with little resistance. The not-so-fleet-of-foot Rivers even ran for a 1st down himself and got out of bounds to stop the clock to boot. The Redskins even burned their last timeout on defense because they weren’t aligned right or something (facepalm), giving San Diego even more of an opportunity.

Yes, that.

The drive looked as if it would culminate on a Danny Woodhead dive to the pylon. Looking at all of the replay angles, it appeared that Woodhead probably didn’t actually cross the goal line, but it could easily have been ruled as one of those reviews where there wasn’t conclusive evidence to change the call on the field. However, fate may have smiled on Washington for that one brief moment when the call was reversed, and the ball was placed inside the 1.

Still, the situation looked dire to say the least: 1st and goal from the half yard line with 20 some seconds to play and 2 timeouts left…all the tools necessary to not only win the game but bleed basically the entire clock too…except the San Diego coaching staff inexplicably lost their minds for a few minutes.

In that situation, I fully expected the Chargers to try at least 2 running plays with maybe 1 play-action pass mixed in. They tried a run on 1st down, which to the Redskins’ credit was stuffed…however, it was a shot gun handoff to the most diminutive back (Woodhead) on the roster. 2nd down was a fade pass to Antonio Gates that had zero chance of being completed. The Chargers’ 3rd down play was the post-Halloween treat described above.

They kicked a field goal to send the game into overtime, but Washington got it’s 2nd stroke of luck by winning the overtime coin toss, which they followed by marching down the field and scoring to end the game before Rivers and company ever got their hands on the ball again.

Did I mention the game-winning score was by seldom-used-in-a-ball-carrying-fashion, Darrell Young? His 3rd of the day? No? Ok, well there you go.

Unbelievably, as bad as this Redskins team has been so far this year, it was a win that put them at 3-5 and a mere game and a half out of 1st place in the extremely lousy NFC East. In what seems like a lifetime ago, that was actually the same record Washington had at the midway point last season.

In fact, if Washington wins in Minnesota on Thursday, a game which they may be favored, they would be 4-5…only a game out of 1st, and a game better than last season’s 3-6 at the same point in the year. Now, I’m getting super ahead of myself because that team closed the season with 7 straight wins. That will be tough to duplicate with home games against the 49ers and Chiefs still on the schedule, but they also have 4 games left against their stinky division rivals. In some absurd way, they actually control their own destiny sitting at 3-5…a tale of mediocrity at its finest, and maybe the greatest gift the Redskins could ask for.

To the Winners Go the Spoils...Or the Low-Risk, High-Reward Stock Options at Least: The Offseason Additions of the Miami Heat

With everything else going on in the sports world including the MLB playoffs, the NFL season, and the start of the NHL season (wait, f*** it, I don’t care about hockey), it’s almost shameful to talk NBA right now. And yet with NBA teams all in the midst of training camp, maybe it’s a good time to take a look at the upcoming season.

There are plenty of good storylines to talk about including the return of D-Rose, the new-look Brooklyn Nets, Kobe’s achilles, and Dwight Howard’s new home in Houston…but look for the same team that has dominated the headlines since the inception of its current core to do so again this year: yes, the Miami Heat.

Yea, those guys.

It’s fascinating to look back at the expectations that these Heat have had going into each of their seasons together. After signing LeBron James and Chris Bosh, people wondered whether they would win 70-plus games. Going into season 2, there was almost a sense of panic and wonderment as to whether they would ever live up to those original expectations. Going into season 3, the pressure of living up to those expectations had lessened, but people still wondered if they could sustain the level of greatness they had shown.

Going into season 4, having been to 3 NBA Finals and winning 2 titles in those 1st 3 years, the only pressure they really face is historical. If they lose, they will be thought of as having a very good run over the course of a 4 year span. If they win a 3rd straight championship, theirs will be measured against the great franchise runs in league history.

And that no pressure approach seemed to apply to what they did in the offseason as well. Originally thought to be pretty hamstrung by the salaries on their current roster and the luxury tax, Miami saved some dough by applying the amnesty clause to Mike Miller. Then, they re-upped with Chris Anderson, who proved to be a valuable high energy big guy off the bench last year. Then, they won the Greg Oden sweepstakes (if you want to call it that). Then, they acquired the very talented but often troubled Michael Beasley.

If Oden can give Miami just 10-12 minutes a night in April, May, and June, it might be the steal of the century.

The Anderson resigning was a smart one given Udonis Haslem’s decline, that Miami’s roster possesses no other real rim protectors, and the fact that Anderson seemed to blend in well with the rest of the roster. The pick-ups of Oden and Beasley were the kind of moves that a 2-time defending champion bringing basically everyone back can afford to make.

Oden and Beasley have had very troubled careers (for very different reasons) up to this point. If things don’t work out, the incentive-laden deals that both signed won’t make a dent in Miami’s short or long term plans. But because the Heat are already a ready-made championship team, there won’t be any pressure on them to produce right away either.

Umm, see the above caption from the Oden pic. Replace Oden with Beasley. Done.

In the worst case scenario, Beasley does something dumb again, Oden’s woesome knee problems continue, and neither ever ends up contributing. The next step up would be that they stay on the roster but just never crack Miami’s already loaded rotation, and they wind up being bench neighbors with other high profile garbage-timers like Rashard Lewis.

Miami has the locker room, talent, and clout to absorb any and all of that though. In fact, if Oden and Beasley never play a minute this year, the Heat will still be the odds-on favorite to win it all again. But if the 2 can actually get on the court and blend into Miami’s system, they could fill 2 supporting roles that the Heat have never had since James and Bosh came to town: a true 7-foot, paint-patrolling, rim-protecting behemoth, and an athletic combo forward who could possibly take some of the wing scoring pressure off of Dwyane Wade and James for a couple minutes a game.

Getting Dunked On: The New #1 Threat to People Everywhere

Because we live in the Twitter era, stuff can go viral at any moment. And that stuff could be anything. Usually, it’s something that 99.9% of people wouldn’t have even noticed if they saw it once. But it’s the whole viral part that makes you stop and say to yourself, Hey there’s that thing I know. From memes to catchphrases (YOLO), from planking to Tebow-ing, from “Gangnam Style” to “The Harlem Shake”…like I said, it literally could be anything. The next thing that goes viral will probably be a thing that you didn’t even know was thing until it became a thing…make sense?

Well, the next thing I hope goes at least a little bit viral (maybe dopes like me posting stuff about it will help a little) is dunking. Yes, it has to do with dunking a basketball. But no, it’s not about LeBron posterizing Jason Terry…well, maybe it is a little bit…but really it’s about regular everyday shmucks banging on one of their poor unsuspecting shmuck friends. Now, I think this is a little bit viral already…if that’s possible…I guess something is either viral or it’s not. Ahh, screw it! On to the GIFs!

1st, we have the GIF that might have started this whole idea, which was so aptly titled on certain GIF websites as “You Can Get Dunked On Anywhere.” It laid the foundation for everything else to follow. And as we see, you don’t even technically need any kind of hoop…just a dunker, someone who’s willing to be in on it, and a victim.

But if you want to get fancy, you can also dress up, get a larger group to be in on the prank, and use some nicer props. The trashcan worked in a pinch, but this one gets an “A” for choreography.

If you find a willing participant who’s foolish enough to be on the receiving end of a facial, even better yet.

And if dunking isn’t your thing, you can always play some defense. Even Gumby can get in on the act.

Wherever you are though, watch your back, watch your front, and watch your side…or else the next person that gets dunked on could be…Y…O…U.

Rolling the Dice with Some Major Fantasy Football Moves

Ok, so remember the last paragraph of my last post?

Of course not…

Often times in fantasy football trades, much like real life sports team moves, the best ones are the ones that never even happen. Too often people make changes to their roster just for change’s sake alone. Now, it’s true that if your team is pretty sucky, there are times when a roster move can work just because it shakes things up from the way they were before, but usually the results are an ugly mish-mash of players that just don’t work, and you end up with Monta Ellis, Brandon Jennings, and JJ Reddick manning your backcourt one year (and OJ Mayo, Brandon Knight, and Luke Ridnour the next).

Yes, I’m looking at you, Milwaukee.

More often than not, I follow my own advice. When the Redskins used to trade away draft pick after draft pick for old, overpriced, overrated players that didn’t fit their system, it would drive me nuts. As a fan, I’d much rather suffer through an awful season or 2 and rebuild the right way than constantly be in that 7-9/9-7 no-man’s land every season. Similarly, with my fantasy teams I usually practice patience and stick it out with who I draft (for the most part…smaller trades and free agent pick-ups aside) rather than make wholesale changes. In my own stubborn head, I usually believe that I drafted smartly (even when I didn’t), and I feel like the players I already have can turn my season around.

Well, not this year, motherf***er.

Aww yeah, son!

Sitting at 1-3 with 3 straight L’s, I’d seen enough. Within the span of about an hour yesterday morning, I completed not 1, but 2, multiplayer deals. This morning I sealed the transformation with a couple free agent pick-ups as well. In the 2 trades I said so long to Aaron Rodgers, AJ Green, Darren Sproles, Eddie Lacy, and Bernard Pierce…and hello to Matt Forte, DeMarco Murray, Dwayne Bowe, Greg Jennings, and Zach Miller. Jennings was inconsequential…if he performs well enough to actually crack my lineup, mazel tov to me…if not, oh well. If Jennings was inconsequential, Miller was irrelevant (he was just a throw-in for 1 of the trades, and I promptly dropped him this morning).

It was a wild 24 hours to be sure. Out of my current starting position skill players, only 1 (Larry Fitzgerald) or 2 (Steve Smith) were even drafted by me. My wide receiver corps is definitely weakened, but at least I have 2 reliable plug-and-go running backs that I shouldn’t have to worry about (save for an injury) for the rest of the season…unlike before, when I had to deal with weekly running back-roulette bulls***. As for quarterback and tight end, all I can really say now is, we’ll see.

The best part about making a couple of high profile moves is that even if you’re in last place, it ruffles some feathers. What was a warm, cuddly, quiet league a few days ago is now whipped into a frenzy. When people see a couple of moves being made, everyone then wants to make a move from fear of falling behind…even if they don’t need to (see above). The question is whether or not all this change will help me win…I guess myself and the Milwaukee Bucks of the world will find out soon enough.

Ok, maybe I'm not loving the Milwaukee Bucks imagery so much anymore.

Weekend Round-Up: Skins Win, Preventive Icing Begins, and Taking It on the Chin

The Redskins got their 1st win of the season yesterday. The question is this: how exactly am I supposed to feel about it? If you watched the game in a vacuum as a Redskins’ fan, you probably came away from the game feeling pretty good. They won on the road. Their defense was suffocating, with a pick-6 and 7 sacks. The offense had a pretty good day running the ball, and they made just enough plays through the air to win the game. But then if you go outside of that vacuum, you remember that this is the Raiders after all…a Raiders team that didn’t even dress their starting quarterback and who lost their best offensive player for the day pretty much as soon as the game started. That might make you pump the brakes slightly. And then you would also remember that the Redskins play in what looks like a truly dreadful division this season, the NFC East. While Washington eked out their 1st win of the year, they scoreboard-watched all 3 of their rivals lose in one fashion or another. With all of that, Washington is only a game out of 1st place in said sorry-a** division as we speak…go figure.

David Amerson's INT for a TD as the Redskins trailed 14-zip in the 1st half may have saved Washington's season...for now.

There was a time when the below image (or ones like it) would make me laugh.

Umm...what?

What is the ice for? No injury occurred! And yet now at my advance age of 28 and a half, let’s just say I get it…even if Krissy, who is the same age and is just as (if not more so) active as I am laughs at me when she walks in a room only to see me with frozen bags of corn and green beans draped all over my body.

There’s not much worse in sports fandom than having a bad fantasy football team. When you’re bad in the beginning of the year, you almost always stay bad. Players don’t just magically get better or uninjured in the middle of the year, and while free agent pick-ups are always crucial, it's unusual for 1 player alone to swing you from the bottom of the league to the top. And when you are your league’s resident cellar-dweller, other managers are looking to fleece you for what little value your team does have…and you almost have to oblige! Beggars can’t be choosers, and let’s face it…if your team stinks, you have to at least consider what normally would be offensive offers. But what is one to do when your roster doesn’t have a top tier running back to speak of, and your best players have underachieved? Either take it on the chin the rest of the season or bite the bullet and start cleaning house I suppose…

Ad Nauseum: Get Your A** Back to School

It’s been over 3 months since we’ve had an Ad Nauseum entry, so why not go slightly off the beaten path for its return? Ok, how about way off the beaten path?

99.9% of YouTube ads are so frustrating and infuriating that many times a part of you wants to close your browser before ever even getting to the video you want to see. When a YouTube ad makes you actually do a YouTube search of that YouTube ad, that’s when you know you’ve got something. This China, IL song did just that though.

There was a 2 year period where my friends Patrick, Mac, and I were all about Adult Swim’s ridiculous cartoon series Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Since I stopped watching that, I haven’t bothered to come back to the channel. This clip made me at least watch a minute or so of an episode online…a minute of my life that I quickly wished I could have back somehow, as the show seemed a little out there even for Adult Swim.

Still, I have to admit I’ve clicked replay on the “Get You’re A** Back to School” video at least a dozen times already…it’s just so good, girl! I don’t know what it is specifically that I like about it. The characters not-so-chiseled physiques and their not-so-on-point dance moves (spilling some kind of beverage out of their Solo cups) hit a little too close to home perhaps. And what the f*** are they doing with their stencils in China, IL, anyway? And the song…for f***’s sake, finish the song Adult Swim!

…so good, girl.

We Never Knew Ye: Songs That Leave You Wanting More

3 straight days with a post after a month with not so much as a peep? So it goes in B-Court All-Star land.

Shuffling through the song library on my iPhone on the way home from work earlier this week, Method Man and Redman’s “Da Rockwilder” came on. It’s one of those classic hip-hop songs that’s great to bump in your car or blow out your headphones with in the middle of a training session. The other thing that always struck me about it was it’s length…

...it’s barely 2 minutes long. (Igonore the video length…about 20 seconds in the middle of the vid is some nonsense about “stank butt jeans.”) But “Da Rockwilder could easily be a verse each longer from Red and Meth, and it would still leave you wanting more. It got me thinking about other great songs that are just too short.

“Apologize” was a slow melodic pop tune from OneRepublic. It stayed at or near the top of the charts for about half a year when it debuted, but the version I’ll always remember is Lil Wayne and Bun B’s remix to it. Speed up the track, lace a beat to it, put Weezy on it, and now you’ve got something…but 1 verse each? Come on, man.

When I bought Jay-Z’s The Black Album, it was supposed to be his last before he rode off into the music biz sunset. Well 10 years, a gazillion records later, and Jay’s still putting out music…shocker, I know. When I 1st bought it, I knew about the half dozen or so singles that got decent radio play. What I didn’t know about were some of the hidden gems like “Public Service Announcement.” At 1st you think “PSA” is nothing more than an interlude, but it quickly became my favorite track on the album. The only problem was it was only 2 verses long, and a good portion of the song uses a couple samples as filler…ahh well, it was good while it lasted.

I’m sure I could have come up with a more comprehensive list, but these 3 are the ones I could come up with off the top of my head at least. If anyone actually reads this and wants to chime in with their own entries, feel free.

Doing Work: The Oh-So Prolific Anthony Mackie

Krissy and I plopped on the coach sometime last week to watch Pain & Gain. If possible, it was both disappointing as a whole and surprisingly funny in spurts at the same time. There was one thought I couldn’t escape throughout the whole thing though: damn, that black dude’s in a lot of movies

For the record, this movie wasn't what I expected at all.

Of course, “that black dude” is none other than Anthony Mackie. While not getting much love as a lead actor in a feature film, Mackie has gotten a lot of run the past few years as a prominent “that other guy.” Take a look at his IMDB page sometime when you get a chance. In the past 5 years (since 2008), he’s played the army major in charge of the creepy self-aware computer system in Eagle Eye, Matt Damon’s helper/guardian/pseudo-angel in The Adjustment Bureau, another guy in the robot fight game in Real Steel, the gay congressman in What’s Your Number?, one of the crooked cops in Man on a Ledge, a member of the Gangster Squad, and the, umm, testicularly challenged bodybuilder in the aforementioned Pain & Gain.

He’s been in so much stuff that you forget he was Eminem’s foil Papa Doc (aka Clarence) in 8 Mile (his 1st real movie role), a member of the beleaguered football team in We Are Marshall, or the narrator for one of ESPN’s 30 for 30 episodes. (One that I watched by the way...who knew?) Showing my lack of movie prowess, he’s also been in a couple things that I haven’t seen yet, but surely will at some point: Million Dollar Baby, The Hurt Locker, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and he even apparently played Tupac in the Biggie movie, Notorious. So, to say he’s got some range would be an understatement.

And not to pimp him out too much, but it looks like he’s going to be in some movies that you are probably going to want to take a look at in the near future too: the JT/Ben Affleck drama Runner Runner as well as the sequels to Captain America and The Avengers to name a few. If you could bet somewhere that Mackie would get double digit movie credits in 2014, I’d be all over that.

Anti-Climatic: Griffin and Redskins Flop in Opener to Eagles

I have a pile of work sitting on my desk as tall as me, but after watching the Redskins' Monday Night Football loss last night to the Eagles, I can't resist. After all the hype and anticipation, last night RG3 looked exactly like what he is: a guy coming off a serious knee injury that hasn't played any real football in 8 months.

 The pregame intro was pretty hype...and it pretty much went downhill from there.

Sure, Chip Kelly's new offense was nothing short of eye-popping in the 1st half, but they did take their foot off the gas and came back to Earth a little bit in the 2nd half. Still, I think that was slightly aided by the fact that no one had seen this offense in the pros yet, and Griffin and the Redskins offense gave the ball away in the 1st half like they were serving up free samples at your local supermarket.

No, to me (no surprise) the real story was RG3 and the Redskins. John Gruden lamented that Griffin looked rusty, tentative, and didn't appear to be getting a lot of zip on some throws. I believe the 1st 2 points to be true, but on the other hand I didn't really see the lack of velocity on most of his passes. Griffin’s rust seemed to display itself mostly in mental mistakes. His 1st interception was a ball thrown into at least double coverage to Santana Moss, and Moss simply wasn’t open. His pitch to Alfred Morris along the goal line was too high and outside, which resulted in a safety. His 2nd pickle, on an out pattern to Moss, was thrown a beat late...which is a recipe for disaster on that particular route.

The moment I at least stopped worrying about the possibility of Griffin’s knee spontaneously combusting was on a 4th quarter scramble to escape the pocket. It was the kind of Houdini bulls*** that you saw RG3 employ when he was healthy last year...the near come-from-behind win against the Giants on the road comes to mind in particular. However, once escaping, Griffin’s throw to Leonard Hankerson sailed over his head incomplete...yet another sign that Griffin was still ironing out the kinks.

Washington's other biggest problem this year might be public perception. As a reigning division champion technically returning basically all of their starters from last season, they are being thought of by some as a possible Super Bowl candidate, which to me is ludicrous. 1st of all, unless you are a dominant team, a degree of luck always plays a part in your record. The Skins were only 10-6 last year. 1 more loss to a division foe, which they very easily could've had, and they go from hosting a playoff game to not even being in the playoffs at all. Also, consider the fact that they have had to withstand an $18 million salary cap hit each of the last 2 years. I'm not a capalogist, but to me that's somewhere between a couple to several starting caliber NFL players. You think the rest of the offense, where aside from RG3 and Trent Williams there aren’t really any blue chip players, could use some of that cap room? You think a defense that still boasts 38 year old London Fletcher as its most important player (and that’s not a good thing) could use it? Especially a defensive secondary that is not NFL worthy at all? The answer to all of those is a big fat yes.

The fact is that even with a competent replacement level quarterback under center instead of Griffin (and I’m actually a Kirk Cousins fan), this is a 4 or 5 win team. Alfred Morris is a solid back. They make up for their lack of a big play receiver with some decent depth at the position. Ryan Kerrigan and Brian Orakpo look like great bookend rush linebackers when healthy, at least on paper. Overall, the talent just isn’t there. You can say it’s a good thing that they basically return their entire team from a year ago if you want. I counter that they weren’t able to and didn’t improve their roster in any way during the offseason. Combine that with Griffin working his way back into football shape on the fly and a 1st place schedule on their plate, and the Redskins might be looking at a lost season here already…just saying.

How Credit Card Rewards Programs Play on your Emotions

Yesterday was the end of one of our credit card billing cycles, which made me excited…absurdly excited if you can believe it. You see, it’s one of those rewards credit cards, and at the end of the billing cycle we get to cash in the rewards we earned on that card. Personally, I have had my eye on a $25 gift card from Foot Locker for weeks now.

At 1st glance, credit card reward programs – whether they are airline miles, cash, or merchandise – seem like a bad idea for credit card companies until you consider…1. Credit card companies make gazillions of dollars off of interest charges and late payment penalties. The money they are spending on these customer rewards is peanuts by comparison. 2. Most people don’t even know their cards have a rewards system, and many that do are too lazy or incompetent to figure out how to cash them in. Take my wife’s 89 year old grandmother for example, who we just recently started logging into her account and checking her rewards balance on her behalf. 3. The rewards offer an incentive for those cardholders who do actually know what the deal is to use their card more often…which brings us back to the whole making gazillions of dollars off of interest charges again.

I’m sure there’s other stuff to consider as well, but that’s a good start at least. Now, we happen to pay our credit card bill in full every month, thus avoiding giving the credit card companies any extra money, so we are getting the full benefit of these rewards. But even a nerd like me that gets super-pumped about this stuff has to admit that these companies are playing psychological warfare with me, and they are winning.

You see, if I spend $1,000 using a particular credit card one month, it might only yield $20-25 in rewards (if I’m lucky). Now, when I do get my $25 gift card in the mail to Foot Locker or Panera Bread or Home Depot or whatever, my hype level is off the charts. However, I happen to have another rewards credit card that’s attached to my bank account, and that card gives you an extra incentive to deposit the rewards you earn right into your savings. Because it gives the best benefit overall, that’s what I do. If I spent $1,000 using that card, I would also probably earn in that same $20-25 range in rewards. However, a free $25 to Outback Steakhouse? I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. $25 into my savings account? I mean, I’ll take it because $25 is $25, but Christmas it is not.

And that’s where they get you, because on the 1st card I mentioned I have the option to apply that same $25 to my credit card balance. Have I ever done it? Hell to the no! A free meal or money off a fresh pair of sneakers sounds amazing. Reducing my card payment from $1,000 to $975 that month sounds meh…even though that would probably be the most financially responsible thing to do. If you are getting the gift card for something that you would have to buy whether you had the gift card or not, that’s one thing. But would I go out to eat or buy that new shirt if I didn’t have free money? Probably not, or at least not as often…and yet I’m going to continue to do the admittedly stupid thing, and opt to get a gift card every time. Because meh sucks, but Christmas morning is awesome every single time.

Suspended or Not, It's Over for A-Rod

2 days ago, Major League Baseball handed down the largest non-gambling related suspension in the history of the sport to Alex Rodriguez for not only taking performance enhancing drugs but for allegedly covering it up and obstructing MLB’s investigation as well. It was yet another opportunity for A-Rod to showcase himself as the most pretentious, disingenuous, and scripted athlete in all of professional team sports.

Kobe Bryant comes close...he has modeled not only his game, but his entire persona (both on and off the court), off of Michael Jordan. Every word out of Kobe’s mouth is rehearsed. But while I am not a Kobe fan in the least bit, there are a great many people that love him. And at least Kobe can back it up with his 5 rings, his undeniable tenacity as a competitor, and all of the swagger that comes with that. And unless you count a couple mysterious trips to Germany to have some blood-spinning procedure done to his knee, he has never cheated. Not to mention the fact that when he’s unfiltered and unsolicited, he might be the greatest tweeter or all time…Mamba, out.

But Rodriguez has none of that really. He does have the 1 championship and some very gaudy numbers, but in the prime of his career he was mostly looked at as a supremely talented player who always seemed to choke in the postseason or any other time when it mattered. Think LeBron if LeBron never started to show up in crunch time in the playoffs.

We thought of him as the guy who got signed for not 1 but 2 ludicrous contracts, the guy who’s teams always seemed to get better once he had moved on to another franchise, the guy who did a photo shoot where he appeared to be trying to smooch himself in a mirror, the guy who once swatted a baseball away with his hand like a little girl as he was running to 1st base, and the guy who tried to act tougher than he really was…only to get suplexed to the ground by Red Sox catcher and actual tough guy Jason Varitek.

The only cool thing I ever remember A-Rod doing was surprising Cal Ripken in an All-Star game by swapping positions with him. Now, that is a very distant memory. Even those other memorable-in-a-bad-way things wouldn’t even make the footnote in the Alex Rodriquez biography. A-Rod will from hence forth always be known as “Mr. PED”…the poster boy for the most tainted era in over a hundred years of professional baseball.

And as Rodriquez held his pregame press conference yesterday, in one of the most bizarre situations you will ever think of where he played his 1st game of the season on the same day that the league announced his year and a half long suspension, I couldn’t help but think of how fake and scripted it all was. Everything about A-Rod, from his fake smile, to his fake near-tears, to the way he squinted his eyes and craned his neck as he tried to fain a sense of interest while listening to each question was completely off-putting. His actual answers to those questions mattered little because you knew ahead of time they would be scripted as well. By this time, anything he says is either so generic and cliché or such a patent lie that it matters little. But what A-Rod has done is cement his place as the most universally disliked team sport athlete of his generation…good job by him.

Dwight Howard Takes His Talents to Houston

It’s been a whirlwind year for Dwight Howard here at B-Court All-Star. Last July, I correctly predicted Howard would eventually wind up in LA for the 2012-2013 season. Prior to the season, I mistakenly (like so many others) predicted big things for him and the Lakers. I picked apart his on-court wardrobe decisions, and I wondered aloud whether he was in fact worth a max contract …well, it turns out at least someone thinks so, as Howard opted to leave the Lakers and sign a 4 year $88 million deal with the Houston Rockets.

Judging Howard’s decision on its own, I think it was a smart move for him. Howard clashed with both Kobe Bryant and Coach Mike D’Antoni, and the Lakers appear to be a mess from an organizational standpoint as well. Now, was Howard as much to blame for those 2 individual clashes as Kobe and D’Antoni? Probably…but given how the Lakers are being run, the way the roster is currently constructed, and Kobe’s injury, the Lakers don’t appear to be a great destination at the moment aside from the fact that, hey, they’re the Lakers. In the Rockets, Howard joins a young flexible roster with another young budding superstar, and he’s got the chance to win right away.

So, considering all of that, Howard’s decision was actually a no-brainer regardless of what buffoonery comes out of Shaq’s mouth or any other ex-Laker greats. I’m not necessarily buying the Dwight couldn’t handle the spotlight of LA angle either because, as noted above, from a basketball standpoint LA-over-Houston just doesn’t make sense. But none of that means Howard came out of this smelling like roses either.

He claims to be a leader, but in his 1^st 2 stops, Howard has shown himself to be a coach-killer and a crappy teammate. He says he wants to be the guy and have the ball in his hands at the end of games in the clutch, but he still has no real post game to speak of, and he actually avoids the ball like it’s made of plutonium in crunch time because he’s a God-awful free throw shooter. And he wants offenses to be run through him instead of playing pick-and-roll, but you really can’t run your offense through him in terms of dumping the ball into him in the low post (see previous sentence). In that way, D’Antoni’s system should have at least been perfect for him if not anyone else (maybe not Kobe, Metta World Peace, Pau Gasol, or the Lakers role players, but him) just as he was the primary screener in Orlando as they spread the floor with shooters. Instead Howard sulked and complained that he was being misused.

When Howard is healthy, happy, and motivated he would probably still be number 3 in the world today (after LeBron James and Kevin Durant) as players that GMs would want to start their teams with. Even with all those blemishes I just brought up, he’s still a singular force in today’s NBA in terms of his shot-blocking, rebounding, and finishing around the rim…but we haven’t seen a healthy Dwight Howard in a couple of years now. He showed flashes at the end of this past season, but you still have to wonder if he will ever fully regain his pre-surgery form.

With all that being said, I still like the move from Houston’s perspective as well…that is, if Howard keeps his mouth shut and just plays. Why? Because James Harden, that’s why. Having played behind Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook for a few seasons, Harden seems content to go about his business without much fanfare. Howard can play the glamour-puss role for the Rockets, and Harden can just ball. If coach-killer, teammate-thrower-under-the-bus Dwight Howard can stay away, the Harden-Howard combo might be a match made in heaven. If a few weeks into next season, we hear rumors about Howard complaining about his role in the offense and his touches, then, Houston, we’ve got a problem…and yes, I know that is probably as cheesy and cliché a line that I could possibly end on, but I haven’t posted anything in about a month. Cut me some slack.

Heat-Spurs, Game 7: The Champ is Here (Again)

Extra bullets. No intros. No time…no f***ing time for that s***!

1. Not a bad encore for the Game 6 thriller. Tuesday night’s game will go down as an instant classic, and given that a letdown was somewhat expected last night. Game 7 was much sloppier and poorly played offensively (especially early on). The effort and intensity was there all night, and the level of play picked up as the game went on, but the physical and emotional toll of Game 6 was telling. Still, you would be hard-pressed to ask for a better ending to a truly epic series.

2. LeBron James saved his best for last. Having been dared by the Spurs to shoot the ball from the outside all series long, James finally truly obliged last night. He scored 37 points, including 5 3’s. The 3’s were huge, but to me the more crucial shots toLeBron’s game are those pull-up 16-18 footers, which he was burying last night as well…this included the last dagger midrange jumper with under 30 seconds to play, a shot that pretty much iced the game for good. James struggled for much of the series offensively, but if any questions still remained about his clutchness they should surely be answered now. His legacy also seems to be cemented now as well…but that is another blog post saved for another day in a summer where only baseball, tennis, and golf remain.

3. Oh, and Dwyane Wade wasn’t too shabby either. James actually started slowly on offense. The Spurs strategy against Wade was basically the same one they employed for James, but Wade was the one that started the game off drilling midrange jumpers whenever Spur defenders backed off. After some actually wondered aloud whether it would serve Miami better to bring Wade off the bench in Game 7, Wade delivered his typical D-Wade thanks for doubting me, f*** you performance. WhileLeBron had a line of 37 points and 12 rebounds, Wade had a double-double himself with 23 and 10. I still wonder how rapidly he will decline over the next couple of years, but he looked like vintage Flash for one more night at least when his team needed him the most.

4. Shane Battier made up for the Heat’s others. Let’s just say that Chris Bosh, Ray Allen, and Mike Miller earned their championship rings in Game 6. Game 7 saw them go a combined 0 for 14 with 5 turnovers. Bosh’s doughnut is slightly unfair because he had the unenviable task of guarding Tim Duncan 1-on-1 again, and I thought he got a couple of bogus foul calls that caused him not to get his usual minutes, but still…Battier’s 18 points on 6 for 8 shooting on 3’s couldn’t have come at a better time for Miami.

5. The Spurs were valiant in defeat. There were several instances in the 4th quarter where it looked like Miami dealt a knockout blow, stretching the lead to 5 or 6 after hitting a big shot…and San Antonio continued to answer with a big play of their own. I’m not sure if he’s the type of player you canactually build a team around, but Kawhi Leonard is very verygood, and Tim Duncan was a warrior again with 24 points and 12 rebounds…

6. …and yet, the Spurs have to be kicking themselves. They were down 1 heading into the 4th quarter. They were down 2 when Duncan missed the bunny and the put-back late in the game. They were still down only 4 when they turned the ball over with like 20 seconds left. And let’s not even bring up the sequence of events that led to them choking away Game 6…yeesh.

7. Tony Parker, Danny Green, and Gary Neal were non-factors. Green and Neal are still great shooters, but they had to regress back to the mean a little bit eventually, right? Especially after Miami shifted a more defensive attention their way in Games 6 and 7. But Parker seemed to be completely shut down once the Heat decided to put LeBron on him on a more regular basis. So much so that Gregg Popovich actually thought better to leave him on the bench for the critical play with 20 seconds left down only 4 referenced above.

8. Was Manu Ginobili on the take? Ok, that’s probably not fair. But after having his best game of the year in Game 5 he was awful in Game 6. He was slightly better in Game 7, but he had 3 crucial 4th quarter turnovers that could have been the difference in the series. You have to wonder what his plans are for the future, because as a big time player I would say he’s done.

9. Could we see a rematch in next season’s Finals? Possibly…you would have to think back-to-back rings would be enough for Pat Riley to bring the band back 1 more year. Yes, Chicago and Indiana will presumably be better after getting D-Rose and Granger back, but you would still have to look at Miami as the favorite in the East regardless. The West is a lotdicier to navigate. The Thunder will be back. Memphis will be there. What are the Clippers going to look like next season? Could Houston land Dwight Howard? Despite Kobe’s injury and all the Dwight-drama, you know the Lakers will always be up to stuff. However, Tim Duncan had his best season in 4 years, Tony Parker is still Tony Parker, and the Spurs have a habit of finding great surrounding pieces. Once again, it will mostlycome down to health though.

10. But this night was all about the Miami Heat. Watching the Heat was really interesting during the postgame festivities. After last year’s series clincher against OKC, you could sense the unbridled joy and relief from the whole team. The series with the Spurs was probably their toughest as a group to date, but whereas last year’s time looked like they finally got the chance to exhale, this year’s team exuded a quiet confidence…not the brash cockiness they exhibited when James and Bosh 1st teamed up with Wade, but a man that was hard, but we knew we had this look. That was definitely not the vibe you got from this team 2 years ago, but the completed transformation was something pretty cool to see.

Heat-Spurs, Game 6: A Game for the Ages

I think I should be allowed to say this without making it a bullet, but that was probably the most dramatic NBA Finals game I’ve ever seen. So tense was it that I basically forfeited all hope of sleep later that night and productivity today, as I turned to Krissy once the 1st overtime started and said, “I guess I’m going in late to work tomorrow.” To say the least, just a wild finish…

1. You could have written a novel about LeBron James’ night. Starting out an ugly 3 for 12 as Miami trailed by double digits entering the 4th quarter, the Heat surrounded James with 1 big and 3 shooters, and let him go to work. He still threw in a couple of turnovers and missed shots at the end of regulation for good measure, but the Heat wouldn’t have even been in that position to begin with without him. His block on Tim Duncan (his 3rd great block of the series) and his 3 to pull Miami within 2 with under a minute to play will be remembered as his signature plays of the night. Despite the shaky 1st half shooting, James still finished with a triple-double.

2. Let the headband fables begin! This is one of those things that people tend to get carried away with, but at some point in the 4th quarter James lost his trademark headband, and from that point on it was like release the Kraken! James gets a lot of flack because as his hairline has receded like a low tide over the years, his headband seems to travel farther and farther up his forehead. It was like the headband was part tribute to LeBron’s youthful exuberance, part vanity object…but did anyone else notice the huge gash on the back of James’ head that the headband also seems to serve to cover up? The mysterious scar was almost the most fascinating part for me. Anyway, I think it would be kind of cool if from hence forth LeBron ditched the headband and rocked his balding dome. Male pattern baldness or not, it’s a much more mature grown-up look (like when Melo ditched the cornrows…still sporting a headband and double arm sleeves, but I will pick my battles), but I suspect we will see the usual head accessory again come Thursday night.

3. Tim Duncan turned back the clock for one night at least. Miami was obviously tired of the barrage of Danny Green 3’s through the 1st 5 games of the series, and TD reaped the benefits, as whenever he got a post touch in the 1st half he was afforded ample time and space to operate. Personally, I don’t think Chris Bosh did a terrible job defending either (not great, but not terrible), but even a 37 year old Duncan is going to work over almost anyone on the low block if you don’t send help, and he abused Bosh in single coverage for much of the game.

4. Please don’t tell me anything about the refs. I don’t want to hear a word about how Bosh’s block at the end of the game or Ray Allen’s strip on Manu Ginobili should have been fouls. Did you watch the game (or any game this series for that matter)? Both teams are finesse teams that aren’t really interested in playing bully-ball anyway, but nothing was a foul last night…as in all night. So please, save your officiating complaints for somebody else…at the same time, if I don’t see Joey Crawford’s cueball head for a few months, that couldn’t come soon enough.

5. Can the Spurs recover in time for Game 7? They wasted a 30 point game from Duncan, a 10 point lead heading into the 4th quarter, and a 5 point lead with less than a minute to play. Now, they will be forced to turn around in less than 48 hours and win a Game 7 on the road. One might think that it all could be emotionally, physically, psychologically too much to overcome. And yet, if there’s any team professional and tough enough to do it, it’s the Spurs, and I have a feeling we are in for an almost equally wild game on Thursday night.

Heat-Spurs, Game 5: A Manu Ginobili sighting

I’m falling asleep in my chair as I write this, so forgive me if something isn’t factually correct…like if I write that last night’s game hinged on the David Robinson-Alonzo Mourning matchup or something.

1. Manu Ginobili finally showed up. So much for the last bullet from my Game 4 post. I did give the caveat that while we shouldn’t expect more from Ginobili anymore at this stage of his career that it didn’t mean he didn’t have a 20 point game left in him. He was inserted into the starting lineup to match Miami’s small-ball unit and played the hero with 24 points and 10 assists.

Ginobili!!!

2. If the Finals ended today, Danny Green would be the series MVP…no, really. Green leads San Antonio in scoring through the 1st 5 games of the Finals, and he’s already set the Finals record for 3’s made with 2 potential games left to the play. Plus, he’s been responsible for at least 2 he’s shooting that from where comments a game (which are going in more often than not).

3. LeBron James continues to struggle in this series. It’s a far cry from the disappearing act he gave in the Finals 2 years ago, and he’s still putting up decent numbers (25 points, 8 assists, 6 rebounds, 4 steals last night), but other than Game 4 he hasn’t dominated the way I expected either. And I don’t think it has anything to do with him being too passive or anything like that…it more seems to be a combination of him just not being able to put the ball in the basket, good individual defense being played against him, and the Spurs’ overall defensive strategy, which he just hasn’t been able to figure out.

4. I think Eric Spoelstra is a good coach, but he’s going up against a coaching mastermind in Gregg Popovich. Spoelstra was lauded for going small in Game 4, but Popovich gave a very effective counter (starting Ginobili) last night. This series has been back-and-forth, so it should be interesting to see what adjustments Miami comes out with in Game 5. Spoelstra has made some decisions that I don’t really understand though throughout the postseason. He loves Udonis Haslem, but other than 1 game against Indy, Haslem appears to not be able to play anymore. He’s an undersized big guy who also happens to be slow and extremely limited offensively. He’s got great heart and toughness, but loyalty aside you would think that if Miami was going to play this 1 big at a time scheme logic would dictate that Chris Anderson would be that 2nd big guy. However, he hasn’t so much as sniffed the court the past couple of games. Similarly, while Mike Miller has shot the lights out since getting more playing time, and Shane Battier has been in a severe slump this postseason, Battier is the much better defender of the 2. San Antonio constantly tried to get Miller on an island against either Parker or Ginobili in Game 5, and Miller often gets lost in defensive rotations as well.

5. Will the win-a-game/lose-a-game pattern continue in this series? That is the question going into Tuesday night. This is also the same position Miami found themselves in 2 years ago in the Finals against Dallas: down 3-2 and heading home. The Heat are not the same team as they were then, and it’s hard to imagine them at least not forcing a Game 7, but the situation is eerily similar.