Ad Nauseum: 2013 Basketball Sneaker Commercials for Your Viewing Pleasure

Having not posted anything new in weeks, naturally my 1st update would be some nonsensical ramblings about TV commercials…naturally. But in the last few weeks, with the NBA season revving up, it was hard to ignore ads for basketball sneakers. Over the last twenty years, you could argue that there aren’t many consumer goods that have ruled the world more so than basketball high tops…and being a semi-reformed sneaker-head, I admit I have been part of the problem, not the solution. Traditionally, we are used to seeing very smart, clever, and eye-popping TV spots run by Nike and their Jordan brand, but Adidas and Reebok (which I think is owned by Adidas now) have recently ramped up some of their ads to try to compete. The results have been mixed. 1st of all, Nike still rules the world of sneakers like the Evil Empire over a galaxy far, far away. 2nd, I would put Nike’s advertizing and marketing departments on the highest level of genius for anyone in those fields for any company in the world.

One reason for this success is partly luck. When there is a choice, Nike always seem to pick the right guys to back or vice versa. Maybe it’s part shrewdness too, but outside of possessing super-human powers of fortune-telling, no one could have predicted Derrick Rose would suffer 2 major knee injuries in a year and a half. I think it would be pretty dumb to assume any shoe pusher would not want D-Rose in their stable of athletes, but the fact that Adidas’ numero uno is an again-injured Rose while Nike rolls out more fresh LeBrons and KDs doesn’t hurt their appearance in the least bit. The series of Rose ads that have basically been playing since he got hurt 2 springs ago are actually really, really good on their own…which just serves to highlight how sad Rose’s latest injury is. For the record, I was picking last in the 1st round of my fantasy basketball league, and took Rose thinking that he was going to have a monster bounce-back year. Sigh.

While the Adidas ad is just depressing, Reebok’s new “Game Recognize Game” commercial is…head-scratching? Honestly, I don’t even know what other adjectives would be appropriate to describe it. This commercial would be fine if it was just a bunch of no-name streetballers, or maybe even if the only recognizable – get it? – guy was Nerlens Noel, a young buck who was the most hyped kid in college basketball last year before blowing out his knee. Plus, it kind of goes with the recent trend of guys coming off injuries making commercial appearances…but we have recent history to prove (the aforementioned D-Rose as well as RG3) that that ad campaign style might spawn some kind of bad shoe company karma. Plus, isn’t Noel out for the season rehabbing? He’s yamming down an off-the-backboard ‘oop in this ad…wait, actually shouldn’t we be making a bigger deal out of this? And I haven’t even gotten to Isaiah Thomas (the one not in the Hall of Fame) and Jason Terry. I actually had to look up who the 3rd guy in the commercial was because I didn’t recognize Thomas without his headband at all. But what makes anyone think Jason Terry is good enough to headline a commercial for anything, much less basketball shoes? And the worst part is he doesn’t even do anything in the commercial! Outlet pass to Thomas and then mean-mug your way back down the court high-fiving the tweens watching from the sidelines. Yeesh…maybe leave the TV commercials to Nike for now, you guys.

Christmas Came Early in the Form of the Chargers for Washington; Season Technically Not Dead Yet

As Phillip Rivers sprinted to his right and threw an incomplete pass on 3rd and goal from the 1 with time trickling down in the 4th quarter, I turned to Krissy and said these exact words: that was a gift. And honestly, I feel like much of the entire W was gifted to Washington yesterday afternoon. The Redskins had been the better team for much of the day, but they did such a p***-poor job in so many aspects at the close of regulation that it was tough not to feel they deserved to lose.

Up 3 with the ball with over 3 minutes to go in the game, they should have been able to chew some clock or at least make San Diego burn all of their timeouts even if they went 3-and-out. Instead, a holding penalty and an incomplete pass allowed the Chargers the ball back before the 2 minute warning with (I believe) their full complement of timeouts.

The Chargers then moved the ball down the field with such ease that you wondered if they were only playing against 9 defenders. Receivers were running around wide open. Rivers’ check-down passes gained large chunks of yardage with little resistance. The not-so-fleet-of-foot Rivers even ran for a 1st down himself and got out of bounds to stop the clock to boot. The Redskins even burned their last timeout on defense because they weren’t aligned right or something (facepalm), giving San Diego even more of an opportunity.

Yes, that.

The drive looked as if it would culminate on a Danny Woodhead dive to the pylon. Looking at all of the replay angles, it appeared that Woodhead probably didn’t actually cross the goal line, but it could easily have been ruled as one of those reviews where there wasn’t conclusive evidence to change the call on the field. However, fate may have smiled on Washington for that one brief moment when the call was reversed, and the ball was placed inside the 1.

Still, the situation looked dire to say the least: 1st and goal from the half yard line with 20 some seconds to play and 2 timeouts left…all the tools necessary to not only win the game but bleed basically the entire clock too…except the San Diego coaching staff inexplicably lost their minds for a few minutes.

In that situation, I fully expected the Chargers to try at least 2 running plays with maybe 1 play-action pass mixed in. They tried a run on 1st down, which to the Redskins’ credit was stuffed…however, it was a shot gun handoff to the most diminutive back (Woodhead) on the roster. 2nd down was a fade pass to Antonio Gates that had zero chance of being completed. The Chargers’ 3rd down play was the post-Halloween treat described above.

They kicked a field goal to send the game into overtime, but Washington got it’s 2nd stroke of luck by winning the overtime coin toss, which they followed by marching down the field and scoring to end the game before Rivers and company ever got their hands on the ball again.

Did I mention the game-winning score was by seldom-used-in-a-ball-carrying-fashion, Darrell Young? His 3rd of the day? No? Ok, well there you go.

Unbelievably, as bad as this Redskins team has been so far this year, it was a win that put them at 3-5 and a mere game and a half out of 1st place in the extremely lousy NFC East. In what seems like a lifetime ago, that was actually the same record Washington had at the midway point last season.

In fact, if Washington wins in Minnesota on Thursday, a game which they may be favored, they would be 4-5…only a game out of 1st, and a game better than last season’s 3-6 at the same point in the year. Now, I’m getting super ahead of myself because that team closed the season with 7 straight wins. That will be tough to duplicate with home games against the 49ers and Chiefs still on the schedule, but they also have 4 games left against their stinky division rivals. In some absurd way, they actually control their own destiny sitting at 3-5…a tale of mediocrity at its finest, and maybe the greatest gift the Redskins could ask for.