Hello Cup of Joe

A housekeeping note from my last post about a month ago: I think I'm dunzo with pre-workout for now. There are a couple of different kinds sitting in my kitchen, but I'm just tired of it...tired of buying it, tired of feeling dependent on it (if I don't drink my pre-workout, my workout will be s@#$...not true, more on that in a sec), and tired of it blowing out my a@#$%& (sorry if that's TMI).

I never even knew what pre-workout was until a few years ago. Once I started taking it, I loved the rush I would get as I started my workout. You felt like you could run through a wall. But if I'm being honest with myself, over time I felt the positive effects less and less. Different brands boast of giving you that energy boost without "crashing" as the pre-workout leaves your system. Well, from my experience, the only ones that make you feel anything all have that crash effect, and the little boost you get doesn't last that long...maybe for the 1st 5-10 minutes of your workout (which would probably equate to 3-4 sets of something, depending on what you're doing). The ones that advertise as having figured out the no post-pre-workout crash thing don't make me feel anything at all. I'm sure other people have different experiences, but that's my 2 cents, kid.

Now, for most workouts you're probably doing the toughest, most strenuous exercise right off the bat anyway because that's when you are least fatigued, so maybe that works out...but it sucks to feel like the hulk for 10 minutes of your training session and then want to take a nap.

I had this thought of quitting pre-workout a few months back when I had read an article about this trend happening where professional basketball players were drinking coffee prior to games. The reasoning: the caffeine from coffee was more effective than expensive sports drinks, pre-workouts, or other supplements at giving them a sustained energy boost throughout a 2-3 hour game without the drawbacks of crashing afterwards or being so amped that they couldn't fall back asleep when they went back to their hotels post-game. Interesting, very interesting...if it was good enough for Dame Lillard, why was it not good enough to help me through leg day?

A few weeks later my brother-in-law was staying with us for a few days when he was in town on business. He was waking up before work at the a@#-crack of dawn, drinking black coffee on an empty stomach, and hitting the gym. (I should also mention that he's built like an action figure and is one of the people that 1st put me on to pre-workout.) What gives? I'd seen this man consume double or triple scoops of pre-workout prior the gym before, and now he was skipping it completely for regular ol' black coffee?!? Apparently, he had some of the same thoughts as I had (not aware of the basketball player thing though), and was pre-workout-free for several months.

[Sidenote: This continues a trend dating back years where if I think of doing something from a training or diet perspective, I undoubtedly find out that Mike started doing it already...thus of course making me look like a copycat poser once I start doing it, even though I independently thought of it...just a step too late. But that's why I look the before picture and he looks like the after picture for a HGH ad or something!]

And guess what? I've been doing the coffee thing for a few weeks now, and I love it. 1st of all, I just like coffee. I like the taste of it. I like a nice, hot beverage...makes me feel warm and tingly inside. I don't feel like I'm going to bounce off the walls with it, but I don't feel like I need a nap when it wears off. And it works just fine (set a squat PR last week after drinking coffee). The stigma in my head about not drinking pre-workout is over. Unless anyone wants it, my pre-workout might be headed for the trash.

And this has got me wondering about some of the other expensive powders sitting on my shelf like protein and creatine. I'm still using them, but I've noticed myself reaching for them less and less over time. You can see it right in my Vitamin Shoppe order history, as I've slowly went from re-stocking it ever 3 months to every 6 months to every 8 months to whatever. How much is the protein really helping me? Can't I just eat more eggs, more steak, more chicken? (Nodding head furiously as I type this, yes, yes, yes...)

I think that puts a wrap on this post. My original thought was to just add a quick line or 2 about pre-workout vs. coffee, and talk more about how I think I'm going to put strength training (specifically heavy squats) on the shelf for now, but I let the keyboard get away from me on this one, as this turned into a full-blown pre-workout rant. Until next time, kids...

Training Update: GVT, Madcow 5x5, and Pre-Workout vs. Coffee

1. So, a few weeks back I officially wrapped up my 1st foray into German Volume Training. According to my handy-dandy GVT spreadsheet, I did 14 5-day cycles that spanned 10 weeks. My overall assessment: I enjoyed it (especially in the beginning), but I'm not sure I reaped the full benefits of it. This is not me blaming the program or saying the program doesn't work. It's possible that I didn't follow it as closely as I thought I was in the moment (tempo, form, etc.). The 1st few weeks are killer, and I loved it. It felt like my chest and arms were going to explode out of my shirt, and my legs would shake and cramp up. As it went along though, either my body adjusted to the routines, or I subconsciously just wasn't focusing up as hard on the tempo (or maybe I wasn't going heavy enough). I would love to give it another shot in a few months (maybe revising my personal routine though a little). The other problem is that it is a hypertrophy program, and I admittedly did a s@$% job of tracking my progress. Strength programs are easy to track. Weight go up = good! But I didn't take any before/after pictures, didn't take any body measurements (arms, chest, quads, etc.). It looks like I gained 2 lb. from start to finish, but weight alone is not usually a good statistical measurement for such things. So, either I gained 2 lb. of muscle, or my diet and cardio haven't been as great over the last 10 weeks.
2.  The end of GVT led into my next challenge: Madcow 5x5. Madcow is basically a progression of StrongLifts 5x5. It's a progressive strength program like StrongLifts with some differences: it's more bench/row focused than deadlift/press, the weights only go up weekly instead of per workout, and your weights jump up from set-to-set instead of doing the same weight every set for a particular workout (among a couple of other differences). 2 weeks in, I really like the program...although you are scheduled to hit your previous max weights pretty early on, which scares me. Just like Joel Embid would say though, trust the process.
3. Lastly, I'm contemplating dropping pre-workout for just straight-up coffee. I was thinking about it a few months ago, and then I read an article that many pro basketball players have adopted coffee is a pre-game beverage (over energy drinks and other supps). And then I was talking to my warrior-machine brother-in-law, who independently made the switch to coffee not that long ago (he somehow is always like telepathically 1 step ahead of me). I don't know. Just hate having to buy it, feel like I could get a lot of the same benefit from good ol' coffee, and I already drink it anyway. Plus, I wonder sometimes if the pre-workout is effing up my stomach on some days...more on that later.

German Volume Training: Two-Thirds Assessment

In my last post on here about a month and a half ago, I had signaled that I was ready for a change. StrongLifts 5x5 had served me very well for 2 separate multi-month programs, but it had gotten a little stale and monotonous, and I had started to plateau across all 5 lifts as well...but I didn't want to go back to just hodge-podging together random arm days, chest days, leg days, etc. I have come to love "programmatic" style training, where every exercise, set, and rep is laid out ahead of time. No I wonder what I'm lifting today as I walk into the gym, no making up routines as I go...programs take out the guesswork, they make you more accountable, and, not shockingly, they work.

After 6 months straight of basically lifting heavy (for me at least), I needed something different. Enter "German Volume Training." GVT is a well documented method (go ahead and do a quick Google search) for packing on muscle quickly. If I had to characterize it, it's based on (at least initially) 10 sets of 10 reps for each exercise, but you are using lighter weights and a very slow tempo (4020 for most exercises).

After the 1st week of doing this, I thought I was going to die. After the chest/back workout, I thought my chest was going to explode. I couldn't walk without limping for days after the leg/abs day. Initially, I could see why this method seemed so tried and true. But 8 cycles deep through a 12 cycle program (GVT is based on 12 5-day cycles of chest/back day, legs/abs day, rest, arms/shoulders day, rest), I'm finding myself ready to be done and try my hand at Madcow or some other strength program where I can throw around some heavier weights (and it's not because it's too hard).

My main problem with GVT is that things aren't laid out quite as strictly as StrongLifts or Madcow. I researched 3 different bodybuilding sites, and I got a slightly different workout routine from all 3. The basic principles were the same (10x10, 4020 tempo, 12 5-day cycles), but for example for chest/back day some routines had you doing lat pulldowns, some had you doing dumbbell rows, some had you doing bentover (barbell) rows, etc. This is a positive in that not everyone has access to all types of equipment (I don't have a lat pulldown at my house), and you can kind of build your own program, but it leaves you wondering if you are truly maximizing your workouts. Also, all these other programs I've done calculate how much weight you should be lifting for each exercise down to the pound. GVT is a little more loosey-goosey (start with a weight about 60% of your 1RM or a weight you can do about 20 reps with).

So with all that being said, I'm skeptical that GVT is working for me. The workouts have gotten easier even with the weight slightly increasing over time, and while I never took any before pictures or measurements, my overall body weight has stayed the same, and I don't notice any huge differences looking in the mirror. Maybe my body has just adjusted to the routines after the initial shock. Maybe my form and tempo have not been as strict (even though I think they have been pretty ok). Maybe I just miss lifting heavy. Maybe I just feel blah simply because I'm right in the middle of the 3 cycle de-loading period before it's supposed to get pretty tough again for the final 3 cycles, and the de-loading feels too easy. Nevertheless, it's been a good change of pace and a different style of lifting than what I've been doing, so I with all my gripes I'd recommend GVT on that basis alone. Another update to come when I wrap the whole thing up.

Time for a Change

As I've detailed in my last few (although infrequent posts), there are a lot of great benefits to following a training program vs. just winging it in the gym. However, all training programs have their limits. When you've reached that limit for a particular program and the gains (whether in strength, size, speed, whatever) stop coming even though you're putting in the work, it may be time to put that program to bed. Doesn't mean that program isn't any good. It just means your body has adapted, and it's time to graduate to something a little more advanced (or totally different altogether).

After wrapping my 1st 12 week Stronglifts 5x5 sesh back in August, I decided to revisit the program after a few months off. As I detailed back then, I had started to reach my proverbial "limit." I had made some decent progress, especially in increasing my squat numbers, but I was just about tapped out across the board in terms of increasing the weight of all 5 lifts. I thought I could have kept going another 5-10 lb. with my squat, but what I think was a very slight groin strain was barking at me the last couple weeks of that program, and I didn't want to push it to where I was really hurt.

I let the groin calm down for a couple months, and restarted Stronglifts from scratch. Fast-forward 15 weeks into this 2nd Stronglifts go-round, and I'm 3 workouts away from besting my previous successful 5x5 max squat. My legs feel good (knocking on wood), but the reality is that regardless of the outcome this will be my last week of Stronglifts for the foreseeable future. 3 more successful workouts, and I'll at least be able to hang my hat on setting a new PR for squats.

However, it's time to do something a little different...possibly more of a hypertrophy program instead of another strength program. One of the great things I've found about strength programs like Stronglifts is that you never really experience intense soreness after a workout (like not being able to walk without a limp for a week after an intense leg day), but you just feel a general body-tiredness most of the time. And by the time you near the end of a program when it starts to get heavy, 3 compound movements a day will leave you drained. When the time comes to go back to more of a strength-oriented program, I think I've graduated from Stronglifts (more of a beginner to program) to something more intermediate (Madcow 5x5 has drawn my attention). So, happy trails to Stronglifts. For 27 weeks (off and on), you served me well!

B-Bench All-Star?

Because it seems as though my last 3 posts have been about benching, I was trying to think of what I would rename my exclusively all bench press all the time blog. I'm just a sort of in-shape, sort of better than average strong dude...not the massively swole ex-football players over on the tier 1 bench who have 3 or 4 plates per side of the bar. No, I wouldn't be able to move the bar an inch off my chest if I was lifting with them. But I'm not at the bench with the skinny wannabes with the cut-off Affliciton tees and dopey lifting gloves struggling to use good form and a full range of motion with anything other than a plate on each side either. I'm at the bench in between: the B-Bench. I'm a B-Bench All-Star.

Ok, let's just stick with B-Court All-Star. Flows better, and seems to be applicable to all areas of my life anyway.

I've hit on why I've obsessed with my bench numbers and working out chest all these years, but to reiterate, I've always been no-chest guy. I was always on the skinnier side anyway, but at the same time I thought I had decent shoulder, arm, and upper back strength/definition for a guy my size. Chest? Big Bench? No go. Plus, while it's widely known that true strong guys probably worry more about squatting than benching (never skip leg day, bro), nothing looks more badass in the gym than a guy loading multiple plates per side of the bar on the bench press, and pumping out 8-12 reps.

To bring this back around to me, I never really had a goal for a 1 rep max bench number in mind...I just want to keep getting stronger and improve the number little by little. But a pie in the sky goal I've always had is to actually do a working set of 225 lb. Why 225 lb.? I mean, that just always seems to be the standard by which people are judged. 2 plates per side just seems like such a neat and tidy amount. At what weight are prospects compared on the bench at the NFL combine? 225 lb.

What do I mean by a working set? A working set means different things, but in this case I just mean a set of more than 2 reps...so, even 3 would be a working set. Anything less than 3 kind of seems like you're pretty close to working with your 1 rep max. Really, my lifetime goal would be to do a set of 8 reps of 225 lb. Again, a set of 8 just seems like a normal working set you would do for any ol' exercise.

Whenever I have tried to do an as many reps as possible set of 225 lb. over the past year, I've always got stuck on 2 reps. It's not just that I've gotten stuck on 2, it's that those 2 reps have actually felt pretty easy. I get the 2nd rep up no problem! And then on the 3rd rep attempt, it always felt like someone came and sat down on my bar mid-lift. I have even been able to do a 2nd or 3rd set of 2 reps of 225 with relatively no rest in between (1:00-1:30 rest) pretty easily, but 3 reps was always out of the question.

Well, yesterday I finally got it...and again...and again. 3 sets of 3 reps of 225 lb. (with 4:00 rests in between sets). On the 1st 2 sets, I even positioned the bench shittily so that I was banging the bar against the hooks on bottom of the rack on the way up on the 3rd rep...no matter. I powered through it and locked out those reps anyway (no big deal). There have only been a couple times I've been more hyped with myself after a lift (the 1st time I ever benched 225 lb. maybe, as I thought I'd never even get there).

Anyway, if anyone ever reads this, this isn't bragging. Obviously, there are guys with lifting numbers that would make me look silly. Just using this blog as my own personal therapist and collecting the ramblings of a guy in his mid-30's doing things he never thought he could.

Update: 1 Success and 1 Failure

It's been about a month and a half since my last post, at which time my lower body was feeling pretty beat up, but my upper body was feeling strong. So much so that I could feel a new 1 rep max on the bench on the horizon (and normally there's nothing I feel less confident in than my bench). And about 4 days after I wrote that, taadaa! I joined the 245 lb. club. Kiddy weights for serious lifters, but for a skinny jabroni like me who seemed to be stuck on a decade long plateau of 225 lb., no small feat.

So, how did I add 20 lb. to my bench in almost exactly a year? StrongLifts 5x5 was a big reason for my most recent gains, but it started with a more bench press focused program I found last year called the Six Week Bench Press Solution. This was the lifting program that 1st got me hooked on parametric strength building programs like StrongLifts. Based on your previous 1 rep max, calculate your working sets throughout the program, complete the program, test/set your new 1 rep max. It sounds so simple, right? So simple that I ran through it a 2nd time last year just a few weeks after completing it the 1st time...and it worked again. Wash, rinse, repeat. So amazed was I that I wondered how many times I could complete this program and improve my max before tapping out.

Well, it turns out the 3rd time wasn't a charm. My attempt at 250 lb. a couple of weeks ago failed spectacularly! In hindsight, there were a couple of things working against me. 1st, I had just beat my 1 rep max prior to starting this program over again. It's not like I had been stuck on a plateau and needed help getting over some hump. Any strength building program is going to have its limits. Otherwise, everyone could just do StrongLifts or Smolov or any of a number of different things, and our strength and personal bests would just keep rising and rising to infinity, right? (That would be an odd universe where everyone could bench 700 lb. and squat 1,000 lb.) Also, one of the main reasons I went back to this program was because I was taking a break from StronLifts, and admittedly I didn't really want to go back to just having an arm day, back day, chest day, etc. and sort of mindlessly going about some made up routine. I now love having a piece of paper or app or chart tell me what I have to accomplish on a specific day with all the guess-work taken out. I guess in that sense it's good to take a break from these programs to make your brain build your own routines again.

Also-also, this was intended to be a 6 week program (hence the title...duh) with 2 chest days per week. Because I was bored and taking a break from StrongLifts, squats in general, and deadlifts in general, that left a lot of time to fill. Let's just say I finished a 6 week program in 4 and a half weeks...probably not the rest and recovery time that was intended for success. And finally, the program was updated since the 1st couple of times I went through it. It was edited to include some incline bench work as well. At 1st, I loved this idea just for the pure sake of changing things up from what I had previously done (and I always felt I was neglecting my incline work in this program before). But whereas the original program was spelled-out in a way that was crystal clear, the inclusion of the incline work left some ambiguity in the program, and things weren't clarified as well as they could have been. (Ok, so 5 sets of 3 reps of incline bench press at 85% of my 1 rep max...my 1 rep max on flat bench? Incline?) Throughout the program, I assumed it meant the % of my 1 rep max for flat bench, but do it on the incline. This made for some not-so-productive (albeit very difficult) sets. I should probably follow up with the author for clarification if I'm being honest. In the end, for the 1st time I didn't see any gains at the conclusion of the program.

Still, I'd recommend the Six Week Bench Press Solution to anyone who is looking to get a bigger bench. The original program increased my bench 10 lb. in 6 months...when doing my own thing increased my bench 5 lb. in 3 years. I think I will tuck it away for a bit and try some other stuff for a while, but I could see myself going back to it when I get stuck in a rut. Hopefully, I'll be able to be more disciplined with my recovery time, and not rush things. In the mean time, I'm going to go back to StrongLifts for a 2nd round. I'm starting basically back at ground zero in terns of weight, so it will be at least 8 weeks or so before I start to approach the heavier weights I ended up at last time. Adios.

End of the Road (Part Deux)

So, my last post on here I basically detailed that I was putting a wrap on my StrongLifts 5x5 routine (for now). I actually continued doing 5x5's for just deadlifting and benching for another week and a half or so, but I decided to pull the plug on the deadlift portion for now too because...well, I'm really tired of my groin and hip hurting, and it only makes sense that squats and deadlifts aggravate it. So, what started as the full 5 exercise program is down to 1: bench press. This is ok because I'm still progressing there without injuring myself. I accept the little groin/hip tweak as part of the deal when you get into a strength-building routine. You're trying to push yourself to get stronger. You're approaching your physical limits and boundaries. When the weights get heavy, your form breaks down and gets sloppier. Obviously, you want to practice as good of form as possible all the time, but that's just kind of what happens. I once heard or read the phrase it wouldn't be your max if it wasn't ugly.

But all that sort of segways into what I really wanted to get into, which is to go off onto a little tangent about my bench press progression. As I mentioned before, part of why I started this blog back up is to get stuff off my mind that I can't really bounce off of anyone else. When I tried telling my wife that I was excited that I was able to complete 5 sets of 5 at 210 lb. with only 2-3 minutes rest between sets, her response was is that good? She wanted to listen. She tried. She gets an A for effort. But she doesn't have much of frame of reference for what is heavy for me.

Additionally, she's not a numbers nerd/stat geek like me. I get more excited tracking her running or lifting stats than she does. She goes more off feel. (She felt good running, or feels stronger lifting heavier, etc.) I'm data driven. I want to see the numbers. I started keeping a notebook of what I lifted 6-8 years ago, which eventually progressed into an app on my phone that tracks everything. I didn't know what I was doing and wasn't progressing how I wanted, but, hey, I was tracking it!

So, when I can lift 5 more pounds, do 1 more rep, or 1 more set, it's a big deal to me. Especially on the bench. I suffer from this condition...I think it's called nochestitis. It's a common problem in men that can't bench worth a damn. I recognize that everyone's bodies and genetics are slightly different. That's not to make excuses for myself, but some people can do cardio and planks until the cows come home and will never have abs...while others can eat a full pizza a day and have an 8 pack. I barely do shoulders anymore, but I think I will always have decent shoulder definition for a guy my size. But I will always have to fight and claw for every pound more I can bench or millimeter added of chest size. That's nochestitis for ya.

That's how my 1 rep max has progressed over the last 4 years or so. Not much to see for 3 years, but this past year has been productive. And I feel like another data point at 245 lb. should be near on the horizon. Now, that probably seems pathetic to a lot of people, but that's huge for me. There's a 3 year stretch in there where my bench stayed completely stagnant. My next 5x5 bench routine is scheduled to progress to 215 lb. I've never done a set of 5 reps of 215 in my life, but based on yesterday I may not have 5 sets of 5, but I know I can bang out 1-2 sets at that weight. That's huge for nochestitis Patient Zero over here.

End of the Road

Sooooo, that didn't take long.

After singing the praises of Stronglifts 5x5 in my last post, today I've decided to put Stronglifts to bed (for now). I have nothing bad to say about the program. It's easy to follow. You feel like you're accomplishing something every training session (as opposed to wandering mindlessly between exercises). And it produced results i.e. strength gains.

You can theoretically do Stronglifts forever (although if it were actually possible to add 5 pounds to every exercise for every workout, we'd all be squatting 700 lb. and benching 5-hunksi), but the initial program is 3 workouts a week for 12 weeks. By my math, that's 36 workouts. Well, I got to 34, and unfortunately it's time to call it quits for me.

Why? Well, 1 of the very few downsides to Stronglifts is that the user is only privy to the basic program with the free version of the app. The app advertises different set and rep ranges to break through plateaus as well as different assistant exercises to go with the 5 mainstays, but that's only when you upgrade to the paid yearly subscription. It's not expensive by any means, and I'm sure you could find a bootleg Excel calculation online somewhere that gives you the paid program, but that was the 1st time I ever did a meh when contemplating the Stronglifts program.

The 2nd reason is that I accomplished what I set out to do. I had previously completed a program that helped me set new personal bests on the bench. I wanted to do the same thing with squatting. Stronglifts did that. My previous 1 rep max squat was 270 lb. On the 34th Stronglifts workout, I repped 285 lb. 5 times (for 1 set at least). So, mission accomplished. When I was looking at squat strength programs, I wasn't originally considering a program that focused on other areas as well. But when I found Stronglifts, I said, What the heck? Why not?

Finally, it just got to the point where I had to consider competing interests. My left groin/hip have been killing me the last 2 weeks or so. I'm not sure if squatting heavy is what caused the soreness, but I don't think it's helped me recover any faster either. I've kind of tried to baby it and scale back the frequency of my squatting, but the injury still seems to be lingering. With that being said, it's probably best to shut it down for a couple of weeks, and let everything heal for real. Squatting heavy is fun, but so is playing basketball without worrying that you're going to pull your groin every layup attempt or being able to chase the kids around the yard without an ice pack afterwards.

I do think I will pick the Stronglifts program back up at some point (or maybe start the program off from scratch), but I think it's time to try something else for a bit. Stronglifts definitely got me through an entire summer where some days I would rather be anywhere else but in my sweatbox of a garage gym. I would have liked to do 2 more workouts just to get to that nice clean 36 number, but what am I trying to prove at this point? I think I'm nearing (or already at) my squat plateau as is. I'm going to continue a modified 5x5 program for deadlifts and bench for a couple of more weeks just because I haven't really approached my limits there yet, but otherwise that will be a wrap. Good program though, and I would recommend it to anyone who's training routine has gotten a little stale and is trying to gain strength.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now: Stronglifts 5x5

It's cliché to say, but, man...if only I could combine some of the wisdom I've acquired in my early to mid 30's back to when I was 21 or 22. Those kinds of thoughts are magnified when you're talking about gaining muscle and strength, when an average male peaks in terms of strength gains somewhere between 18 and 22. Maybe some of the pitfalls I've encountered through the years couldn't have been avoided. I'm extremely stubborn, I don't like to ask for help, and I like to figure things out on my own. Over time, I gained more knowledge in this area mostly "by osmosis" I guess: an article here, a tip from a (much stronger) friend there. But eventually, whatever slight progress and gains I was making would stop, and I would plateau.

Finally around this time last year, I gave in (in a way). I googled "how to increase your max bench." I sifted through some things that were mostly garbage, but I also came across several programs and routines that offered step-by-step instructions showing how to get from point A to point B. The reason I decided on 1 particular program (more on that program at some point down the road) was because it was so formulaic. It specified how many times a week you trained chest, how many weeks the program lasted, and calculated the weight of every set based on some predetermined parameters. And what do you know? After 6 weeks (that was the program length), my max bench press increased. So impressed was I that I repeated the whole program again based on my newly established 1 rep max, and, shocker...it worked again. What a novel concept: there might be people on this planet who actually know more about something than me...so, use them!

And so began my love for this formulaic kind of workout approach. These programs may not be for everyone, but I've found they are perfect for me. Because every workout is laid out ahead of time, it takes out the guess work of what exercises you're doing a particular day. I tend to be in and out of the gym much faster now then before because there is less thought involved and less wasted time as a result. You can also do these types of workouts completely on your own because that printout or that app on your phone is your personal trainer or workout buddy. Some people find they do better working out with someone. I enjoy the company every once in a while, but in general I like working out in a quiet empty gym. Maybe that makes me a psychopath, but that's what works for me. The formulaic workout program also appeases the nerdy, math-loving, science-experimenty part of me. Calculate x, follow steps a, b, c, and d, and get result y. And from my experience, the programs I've tried actually give you positive results.

This leads me to Stronglifts 5x5. After increasing my 1 rep max on the bench 15 pounds in like 6 months (after increasing it like 5 pounds in the previous 6 years), I found that my squatting had become pretty stagnant as well. At first I thought about just modifying the bench program that I had been doing for squats, but after a little digging I found Stronglifts. The general ideas behind Stronglifts 5x5 is almost numbingly simple. It focuses on the 5 big compound movements (squatting, bench pressing, bent-over rowing, deadlifting, and overhead pressing). You do 3 workouts a week alternating between squat, bench, and row and squat, overhead press, and deadlift, 5 sets of 5 reps for everything, and the weight for each exercise goes up 5 pounds each workout.

The weights for each exercise start painfully light at the onset of the program, but going up 5 pounds for each exercise makes things heavy in a hurry (especially for squats). I'm 11 weeks in, and my last workout included a 5x5 of what my 1 rep max was prior to beginning Stronglifts. The other great part about Stronglifts is that you record and can track your progress all in 1 handy-dandy app on your phone. If you fail an exercise at a certain weight a certain number of times, there is even programming in the app that drops the weight down automatically.

At this point, I'm not sure how long I will continue it (until I stop seeing gains I guess??). I'm starting to struggle going up in weight on the overheard press. Based on past experience, I know I will be at my 5 rep max on the bench press in a couple of weeks too. The squatting is getting more difficult, but I'm in uncharted territory at this point. But even if I never improve my max on any of the other 4 exercises as a result of this program, I feel like I already accomplished my goal because I was just looking to improve my squat numbers anyway. If this sounds like some unpaid advertising for Stronglifts, well, it kind of is. It's worked for me thus far, and I'm happy with the results. If you're interested in building strength check out the link above or search for Stronglifts 5x5 in your app store.

Back Again

Wow...it's been nearly 4 years since my last post. (I can't believe I have 265 of 'em on here. I'm not nearly interesting enough to have 265 posts.) A lot has changed. I have 3 (THREE!) kids running around at home now. A professional Washington sports franchise won a championship (hockey, but still...). And...well maybe not that much else has changed!

Why the return? In short, I have no friends anymore. No, no! I'm not saying that in a pathetic please-feel-bad-for-me way. And no, I don't actually have zero friends, but you get the idea. That's just sort of what happens. Married, 3 kids, don't get out much...it's not a complaint, it's just life.

Basically, even at the age of 33 I still need somewhere to release my semi-coherent ramblings on sports, fitness, and whatever other stupid thing pops into my head once in a while. I love my wife, but I am too humane to subject her to too much of my nonsense at any one time. My kids are still too young. If I had a dog, I would probably just scream things at it every once in a while. "You can't switch a big out on Steph Curry at the top of the key, Dusty!" (Dusty seems like a good imaginary dog name.)

So, I'm here. We'll see how long this lasts. My last post was 4 days before my middle kid, Jordan was born. Writing mostly nonsensical things that no one ever read (except for me) didn't seem all that important at the time. But I think writing those nonsensical things that no one ever read made me a little bit more sane.

Potomac Drainage Baisin Indigenous Persons: New Season, Same Old Feeling

The PDBIP kicked off the 2014 season with a thud yesterday. Facing the league's worst team from last season, Washington scored 1st but watched Houston score the game's final 17 points. If I go in paragraph form, I would probably drone on and on forever about the dreck that is my boyhead team, but hopefully bullet form will keep this more brief. Some observations from yesterday...

1. You have to let RG3 be RG3 at least a little bit. I'm all for making Griffin more of a pocket passer and protecting him from big hits, but if you don't let him use his legs at least a smidge then you might as well start Kirk Cousins (or anyone else). I didn't have a problem with RG3 dinking and dunking his way down the field, as some people did. It was working, especially when the Texans' corners were giving DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon a huge cushion almost every play. But the "fake" read-option hand-offs, the boot legs, and other play action fakes aren't nearly as effective when Griffin never tucks the ball and runs ever. And Griffin got pounded from the pocket all day anyway, so you might as well let him get hit while running down the field, ball in hand once in a while too. (Which leads to my next point...)

2. No one could f***ing block JJ Watt. Watt wreaked havoc in the Washington backfield all afternoon. He pressured and hit Griffin, sacked him, tackled Alfred Morris behind the line of scrimmage a few times, recovered a fumble, and even blocked an extra point attempt for Pete's sake. I shouldn't say no one, because I think the Texans kept Watt clear of tackle Trent Williams. But they smartly kept scheming ways to have him work against the Redskins much weaker right side in Tyler Polumbus and Chris Chester. Jay Gruden continously kept dialing up plays where the blocking scheme called for one of them to block Watt 1-on-1, which ensued in Watt wrecking several plays all by himself.

3. How could Washington's special teams be this bad? I admittedly didn't see every play (or even every box score) from every game yesterday...and we've established that Watt is a beast...but did any other team have an extra point blocked yesterday? Or a punt blocked and returned for a touchdown? I'm pretty sure no one else f***ing did. The PDBIP had maybe the worst special teams I'd ever seen last season. Is it possible they will be worse this year?

4. Turnovers were where the game was lost. If you watch enough football coverage, turnovers (and related terms) are mentioned enough to make you numb to the idea. But if you look at win-loss percentages based on who wins the turnover battle over the years, they are pretty staggering. Watching yesterday's game, it actually felt like Washington was dominating. But there were basically 5 game-deciding plays in my humble opinion that all went in favor or Houston: the 2 Washington fumbles inside the red zone, the p***-poor tackling effort by Bacari Rambo on Houston's 2nd touchdown, the blocked punt for a touchdown, and the blocked point after attempt (it could have been game-altering if any of the 4 other plays mentioned didn't happen at least).

5. Washington is completely irrelevant on a national scale. Aside from the issues stemming from the team name, no one cares about the PDBIP. They got what was in effect the last place Fox broadcast team yesterday to cover the game. There was zero mention of anything Washington-related on my hour long drive into work this morning. And there is basically nothing on yesterday's game aside from Clowney's apparent knee injury on ESPN's NFL homepage. What's the one thing worse than being bad? Irrelevant...and Washington has earned a 1st class ticket into sports irrelevancy as of right now.

Kevin Love To Cleveland; LeBron For Exec Of The Year

Kevin Love is coming to the Cleveland Cavaliers...well, the news can't be made official for another few weeks, but what has been speculated ever since LeBron announced his homecoming looks as if it will become a reality once the 30 day no-trade period of signed draft picks is completed.

Much excite!

 

With Cleveland seemingly winning the draft lottery every year since James skipped town, you had to start wondering whether the Cavs could ever take advantage of their good fortune. No one would argue that Kyrie Irving isn't great (when healthy), but last year's #1 pick, Anthony Bennett, looks to be a bust so far. Andrew Wiggins is full of promise, but by no means is he a can't-miss prospect of any kind. But with no chance of Love staying in Minnesota, the Wolves at least got something back (they will get Bennett, Wiggins, and Cleveland's 1st round pick next year as well, although they presumably won't be drafting from the lottery for the foreseeable future given the offseason they've put together.)

For my money, I think it would have been cool to see the Cavs hold onto Wiggins, and see how he developed under James' tutelage. James will be 30 this year, and if Wiggins developed he could have been a bridge to the future in the same way the Celtics thought Len Bias would be for them 30 years ago (tragically, that wasn't the case, but still...). Also, Wiggins' cheap rookie deal could have given the Cavs even more flexibility to grab additional talent next summer.

But I get it...when you have a chance to pair 2 guys who were both in the top 3 in the league in Player Efficiency Rating, you do it. Plus, if you thought the James-Wade-Bosh trio in Miami was too perimeter-focused, James-Irving-Wiggins might have given you an aneurysm. Love is the natural fit for the talents of James and Irving. If you're talking about pure talent, I would take the Heat's Big 3 of the last 4 seasons. But if you want to talk about how each player complements each other, on paper Cleveland's new Big 3 takes the cake.

And speaking of cake, LeBron has apparently cut that s*** out this summer...possibly more on that later.

Can you imagine Love grabbing every defensive rebound and doling out sweet outlet passes to LeBron and Irving? And then if they need to slow it down, Love trailing for a pull-up trey on the secondary break? What about the pick-and-roll possibilities? Irving and James, James and Love, Irving and Love...

The rest of the roster fills out pretty nicely as well, especially compared to the role players Miami threw out there in year 1 of the Big 3 era (Mike Bibby, Joel Anthony, etc...yikes). Dion Waiters and Tristan Thompson are up to some stuff. Anderson Varejo still does Anderson Varejo things. And Mike Miller can still fill it up off the bench. And all these guys should be more improved/efficient playing alongside better players.

If you're Cleveland, there are 2 things for you to still worry about. 1st, they have nobody that can protect the rim...like, nobody. They could be an outstanding defensive rebounding team, and they will have to be in order to get it done on D. 2nd, Irving and Love are still spring chickens, but you have to worry a little bit about their health. In fact, even though James has played more NBA seasons than Love and Irving combined, they have both missed more regular season games than LeBron has in their respective careers already.

Still, having said all that, this is a formidable group now. And with Paul George's gruesome injury and uncertainty about the Bulls, the Cavs should be the odds-on favorite to advance out of the East without having played a single game together yet. It's only August, but I already can't wait for basketball season.

Fred Durst-ing It

That’s what Matt from “Two Best Friends Play” refers to rolling as…a reference that goes completely over “Super Best Friend” Liam’s head every time. I can’t say exactly how old the “Best Friends” are, but from what I can gather 3 of the 4 members (Matt, Pat, and Woolie) are around my age. Liam is several years younger, and is thus referred to as the baby. Part of the reason that telling someone to just Fred Durst over or around an object in a video game is funny to the 3 elder Friends is the same reason it’s funny to me: because there is an entire generation of Liams (people younger than me, but not that much younger really) that will have no idea what that means.

Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.

Aside from Rage Against The Machine and a select few other artists, rap-rock/rap-metal bands worth a listen back in the day were few and far between. Thank God that the era of such groups was mercifully short. However, it’s possible that the genre was at least partially responsible for the death of the alternative rock movement that I grew up listening to. By the mid-90’s, rap and hip-hop weren’t just quantities for urban black kids. DMX and Jay-Z albums were seen in just about every 13 year old white kids’ zipper-up CD case that I knew as well. Unfortunately, it seemed like every band that started up around that time had a lead singer that thought he could rap as well…those bands would probably have become alternative rock or grunge rock groups otherwise.

Enter Mr. Durst and Limp Bizkit.

One of the great things about satellite radio is listening to stations that have a devoted genre and time period. SiriusXM’s “Lithium” gives you the general goodness of Nirvana, Rage, and Sublime, but it also allows you to reminisce. I’ve heard the Bizkit twice in the past week on Lithium…“Nookie” and “Break Stuff.” Not once since I’ve been a satellite radio subscriber have 2 songs brought on such confusing feelings. As a 13 year old, both songs would have incited mosh pits among my friends and I (even before I really understand what a nookie was). Now, the old man emotions of F***, I can’t believe I ever used to listen to this garbage juice surface as well. (I did it all for the nookie, so you can take that cookie, and stick it up your ass…now that’s some quality writing.)

If it’s not obvious already, Limp Bizkit was never meant to stand the test of time. For many years, I even held on to Durst’s collab effort with Method Man, “N2gether Now,” including it on every mix CD or playlist I created. After a while, I would skip through Durst’s verses to get to Method. Before long, I would just hit the skip button and move on to the next song until finally I stopped including the song on my iPhone completely. So, while Limp Bizkit may forever by emblematic of that poser era where white kids got home from school, jumped out of their mom’s minivan, went upstairs to their room, put on a backwards hat, and started blasting Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water through their Walkman, at least they will have a soft spot in my heart for nostalgia’s sake. And life will just keep Fred Durst-ing along.

NBA Free Agency's Big 3

With no Internet access at my office, doing this exclusively from my smartphone...how's that for dedication?

With NBA free agents now officially allowed to sign with teams, we all know that LeBron James is this year's big kahuna. But much like the summer of 2010, there is a Big 3 of star free agents that could be moving on to new locations, and none of them may end up in the places we would have placed our bets on a few weeks ago.

LeBron James - As LeBron pretty much holds the entire league hostage until he signs somewhere, you could argue that free agency's Big 3 is really a Big 1, as the dominoes will begin to fall once James decides on a destination.

Where he should go - If he's all about contending for a title right now, the Clippers, Bulls, and Rockets are the best choices outside of Miami, but those teams appear to not even be in the running anymore according to what we hear coming out of James' camp. James would still make the Heat the runaway favorite in the the sorry East even with D-Wade's sorry knees, so Miami is probably where he should stay.

Where he will go - When James 1st opted out of his contract with Miami, I listed Cleveland as a longshot, but it seems like they might actually be the front-runner now. LeBron was under immense pressure to win right now after 2010. After 2 titles and 4 Finals appearances in 4 years with the Heat, that pressure doesn't exist anymore. And James doesn't seem to care what people think about him anymore either. Now, it seems he can just follow his heart (if it wasn't for that pressure, he probably never would've left the Cavs in the 1st place), think long-term about his career (Cleveland's other young talent and cap-flexibility make this a no-brainer), and doing what's right by his family (and as someone who has personally had to weigh career decisions against familial desires, I can attest to this).

Carmelo Anthony - Melo isn't the player and, as Jeff Jarrett used to say, doesn't have the stroke that James has, having no rings and not even much postseason success period. Despite Anthony's unparalleled talents as a scorer, I'm still convinced that he needs to be a team's 2nd banana for that team to be championship-level. But it appears several teams are still convinced otherwise.

Where He Should Go - The Knicks can offer him the most money, but they are probably going to be mediocre-to-bad for a year or 2 before they can get their s*** together. The Lakers are an option for Anthony because they can pay him and have the cap flexibility to bring on a couple more pieces right away, but that still probably isn't enough to contend in the loaded West. Even if D-Rose isn't healthy, Chicago seems like the obvious choice for Melo if titles are his number one goal though.

Where He Will Go - By all accounts though, Anthony loves his money, and despite what everyone preaches about winning, it's hard to fault anyone for that. New York can outbid everyone else, and Anthony's wife loves The Big Apple to boot (that darn family thing again). And rather than bashing Melo for taking the money over the possibility of rings, maybe we could praise him a little for being patient and staying the course.

Chris Bosh - Definitely, the most under appreciated of Miami's Big 3, you forget how good Bosh is sometimes...and that out of he, James, and Wade no one had to sacrifice more of and change more of his game to make the Heat work. LeBron's good enough that he makes whatever team he goes to a title contender (or at least a contender for the conference title) on his own. Melo is a dynamic talent and a star, but I think that only certain teams will succeed with him (depending on the roster construction). Bosh's skillset is the missing piece to a lot of puzzles though.

Where He Should Go - Bosh's case might be the most difficult of the 3 in some ways. He reportedly loves Miami, and if LeBron stays put you would think South Beach would be where CB belongs also. But that Houston offer is very very enticing. And that potential Big 3 would be nothing to sneeze at either.

Where He Will Go - Early on in this process, it looked like this was all a bunch of smoke and mirrors, and Miami's Big 3 would all re-up there and recruit some fresh supporting characters to boot. But with each day that passes, the Big Breakup looks more and more likely. And if you're Bosh, you have to like what Houston has to offer: more money, going back to your home state, and playing in a role that better fits your true skillset. I'm not saying Houston's Big 3 could touch Miami's, and Bosh might still be the 3rd wheel between he, James Harden, and Dwight Howard, but at least he could play his traditional role on offense and defense. The pick-and-pop possibilities with Harden are scary. He could also play high-low with Howard while still spacing the floor with his shooting for Dwight to work in the paint. And Bosh would no longer have to bang down low with centers on the defensive end as he's asked to so often in Miami. In a day and age where top flight big men no longer exist, a Howard-Bosh paint duo would be the best combination at the 4 and the 5 in the league.

Too Many Chefs In The Kitchen: Evaluating Bryce Harper's Return

When I was just a little B-Court All-Star Junior, as a shy introverted kid I often preferred getting lost in my own imagination to playing with others. I was also an athlete and obsessed with numbers and statistics. It wasn't enough to pretend I was on an NBA team taking the game-winning shot...all of my sports fantasies had to be tracked. I actually had a notebook that logged everything from my fictitious basketball career's points per game to the card for each Pay Per View wrestling event for my GI Joe action figures.

For the record, Snake Eyes was my all-time leader in World Heavyweight Championship reigns.

Summertime was when I got the most bored and had the least other sports to follow, so baseball became a key cog in this fantasy world (even though I never played organized baseball as a kid). I imagined an entire lineup and batting order, complete with game-by-game box scores. When my made-up franchise made a mid-season trade for an All-Star infielder in exchange for a minor league prospect, it was impossible to choose which star putting up video game numbers to bench...instead, I simply rotated 10 guys through the 9 positions (my fantasy team had a DH, and several players were versatile enough to play multiple positions, of course).

However, as the Nationals are figuring out now, things just aren't as simplistic in real life baseball as they were when I used to play make-believe. This past offseason, Washington took a gamble that they could make it through 1 more season with Ryan Zimmerman at 3rd base. But his shoulder and throwing mechanics are so f***ed that routine throws to 1st are adventures now. With young stud Anthony Rendon primed to take over at 3rd and Adam LaRoche penciled in at 1st base, Zimmerman's only real move is to the outfield. But with Bryce Harper returning to the lineup from a thumb injury, Nats' Manager Matt Williams now has a real dilemma.

Not a clown question, bro.

When healthy, the Nats could very well be the best team in baseball on paper. Their starting rotation may be the best in baseball 1-5. And their lineup is already solid from top to bottom, but even at 21 Harper is probably their most feared and dynamic hitter. His return should provide a jolt and boost up everyone else as well.

But its Williams' job to juggle playing time, positions, batting orders, and egos here. He has already clashed with Harper once, and maybe unnecessarily, this year. (Harper was benched and publicly called out by Williams for failing to run out a ground ball...Harper happened to be nursing a quad injury and was reportedly under the weather at the time.) Now, not even 1 day after being back in the bigs, Harper is chirping about what the lineup should look like and where he should hit.

As it stands, Williams and the Nats have no easy solution. Harper's got to play...that much is easy. Right field belongs to Jason Werth though. Put Harper in left and that puts Zimmerman back at 3rd, Anthony Rendon at 2nd, and Danny Espinosa on the pine. Espinosa always strikes out a ton and is hitting a miserable .217 right now, but that would hurt Washington's defensive infield significantly. Zimmerman's struggles at 3rd are well-documented, and while Rendon can play 2nd, 3rd is his more natural position. LaRoche has arguably been the Nats best hitter this year. He also is one of the best defensive 1st basemen in the league, so moving Zimmerman there seems unlikely at this point.

The Nats could put Harper in center field, a position he has played well and has publicly voiced that he prefers, but that would drop Denard Span out of the lineup. No one is going to argue that Span can out-hit Harper, but that move could hurt in a couple of ways. 1st, Harper plays center adequately, but Span is one of the better defensive center fielders in the league. Also, Span is the 1 player in the Nats' lineup that is truly a leadoff hitter. Others, like Jason Werth, have filled that role in prior seasons, but no one else is a natural fit for that spot like Span is.

Good luck!

If only the Nats could magically move to the American League at the All-Star break, then they could play everyone and rotate guys into that DH spot to give a player a rest while keeping their bats in the lineup. Alas, that seems about as likely as the Wizards not overpaying to keep Trevor Ariza and Marcin Gortat (oops). So, to solve this the Nationals either need to make a trade or simply just play out the messy situation of rotating guys in and out of the lineup based on matchups, who might need a night off, etc. Having too many good players is not the worst problem to have. The odds in any sport are that someone will go down with an injury again sooner than later, and Williams will adjust the lineup accordingly. Until one of those things happen though, the Nationals are faced with a sticky situation as they try for another playoff push.

James Opts Out...29 Other NBA Franchies Are All-In

Sometimes, you want to write, but have nothing in particular to write about. Today, I contemplated writing a general news & notes post about the happenings of the NBA offseason or focusing on the Miami Heat's potential moves. But when LeBron James officially opts out of his contract thus becoming an unrestricted free agent, it's hard to pass up writing about that.

The last time James was on the market, the league and media frenzy was unimaginable. It all culminated with the oh-so-regrettable The Decision on ESPN. 4 years later, LeBron is in a very different position. He's no longer chasing rings (he has 2). Prior to coming to Miami, James' clutchness/greatness/legitimacy as a great player/mental toughness was often criticized (those things are no longer in question).

Basically, in every aspect of the LeBron James package that was viewed as a weakness in the summer of 2010, James is now coming from a position of strength. To paraphrase ESPN's Brian Windhorst, James needed Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, and everything the Miami Heat had to offer 4 summers ago; now, they need him.

Of course, I would say that the odds-on favorite to land LeBron is still Miami. Teams will again look to move heaven and earth just for the chance to sign him, but the grass isn't always greener. And if Wade and Bosh also decide to opt out of their contracts, and the Big 3 collectively decide to re-up with the Heat at a discount rate allowing them the chance to add a better supporting cast, then it would be tough to envision a better chance for James to collect more rings than right where he is.

The point is that LeBron seems more at peace with himself now more than ever though. His got his titles. He's married. He seems to have finally grown comfortable in his own skin. Maybe 4 years ago, James was too worried about pleasing other people when he took his talents to South Beach. Now, his demeanor seems much more relaxed. It seems he is going to make the best decision for him, and damn what everyone else thinks about it.

James appears to be in a much better place than 2010.

If the Heatles have a gentleman's agreement to take a little bit less money, then I think James' choice is pretty easy. If Pat Riley and the Miami brass can successfully have some kind of come to Jesus meeting with Wade and convince him to sign on for closer to what he would truly be worth on the open market ($12 million a year? $10 million? $8 million?), then I think this is a slam dunk. If a very proud D-Wade still thinks he's a $20 million a year player (which he's due next season), then Miami may have problems.

The possibilities (even the ridiculous ones) then become magically delicious. James to Chicago to team up with Joakim Noah, Derrick Rose, Taj Gibson, and Jimmy Butler. James to Houston with Dwight Howard and James Harden. James back to Cleveland with Kyrie Irving, this year's number 1 overall pick in the draft, and a roster of young talent. James bringing Carmelo Anthony along with him to the Lakers to team up with an aging Kobe Bryant...eh, I'm not sure how great that sounds actually. Or my personal favorite, James to LA (but to the Clippers) to play with his buddy Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, and being coached by a guy he truly respects in Doc Rivers.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

If James is about winning championships, the Cavs and Lakers seem the least likely fits. The idea of going back home to Cleveland is intriguing, but Irving has not been durable or consistent enough to make him championship-ready, and draft picks are too uncertain even in this year's talent-rich field. Melo's scoring ability as a compliment to the defensive attention James attracts and his willingness to pass is a deadly formula in any uniform, but I can't envision Kobe being anything but a shell of his former self, and we are talking about 3 guys who basically play the same position (if in different ways).

The other 3 choices put James on teams that are contenders already without him. And unlike when James 1st got to Miami and it wasn't clear how 2 guys who played basically the same position would mesh, the Bulls, Clips, and Rockets could slot LeBron right into his natural position on the floor. The Bulls and Rockets also have the ability to clear the requisite cap space to make a deal with James work. And the Clippers just had a guy agree to pay $2 billion for the franchise, so I don't think the luxury tax would stop them.

Other teams will likely pop into the conversation in the upcoming week, as everyone will attempt to trade away their entire roster just to clear up enough cap space for the possibility of signing James, and the teams I just mentioned are each intriguing, but at the end of the day Miami still looks like the destination to me. They have history. They have the Miami mafia. They have James' trust. What do I see happening? Wade and Bosh also opting out and resigning with Miami along with James, and all leaving a few dollars on the table so the Heat can bring in more shooters, a point guard, and another big guy who can protect the rim. After all, the Big 3 aren't dumb...it's likely they realize their best chance of winning is staying together too.

Elevating Expectations: The Evolution of Louie

Watching the season 4 finale of Louie last night left me with a mixed bag of thoughts and emotions. Part of Louis CK's genius is that he doesn't give a s*** what anyone else wants. His network, FX, legendarily never sees so much of a snippet of the show before it's aired. He sells his hour long standup routines on his website for $5 a pop because he doesn't want the middlemen of Ticket Master and the like in his or his audience's pockets. Louis CK could care less what I or anybody else thinks about him. It's part of his charm and what makes him super-rad.

Yes, I'm using super-rad as an adjective...deal with it.

You have to know there's a but coming, right? But season 4 of Louie left me wanting more in so many ways. Part of this was simply the format of the show. Playing back-to-back episodes on a single night is great in an instant gratification sort of way, but because of that the season basically spanned a month and a half from beginning to end...an especially short period of time considering CK took off a year from the show last year. Now, I have to wait 11 more months for more?!? And what the f*** happened to the song in the opening sequence?

Louie's biggest problem in 2014 is that it lacked the one thing that CK is known for delivering: laughs. Sure, the show still had it's moments, like the opening scene of the season's premiere episode with the comically invasive garbage men, and the season finale where Pam asks a question regarding his ex-wife's race that Louie audiences have been collectively asking for years. But other than those scenes and some of the scenes from the hurricane episode, there aren't many of those absurd moments that made Louie great early on.

Instead of those ROTFLMFAO moments, CK opts for more nuance and better storytelling this time around. It's more clever than hysterically funny. You find yourself thinking wow, what he did there was really smart much more often than busting a gut. In that way, season 4 is undoubtedly the best season of Louie. Seasons 1-3 each had a few minor storylines (like the Letterman angle from season 3), but each episode mostly followed CK's stream of consciousness, where one episode might contain 3 completely separate and unrelated scenes, stories, or ideas. The majority of season 4 revolved around Louie's love life. We still got to see Louie in all his clumsy, self-loathing glory, but this angle showed him in a different light as well, which was nice (however, 6 episodes of the "Elevator" storyline was probably too much). On a side note, one particular story arc, "In The Woods," while not particularly funny might have been one of the best anythings I've watched on television in a long time.

...and also, romantic, naked, candlelit bubble baths.

Season 4 of Louie is interesting, thought-provoking, and beautifully written. The season finale was Monday night, and I honestly haven't read any reviews yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if CK's work on the show was up for another Emmy. Louie is still one of my favorite shows on TV, and I will continue to watch however many seasons CK is willing to give us. We should just continue to expect the unexpected though...because if there's one other thing it's clear Louis CK doesn't give a s*** about, it's our expectations. And we love him all the more for it.

Spurs K-I-L-T Heat...Nuff Said

Before I say a word about last night's outcome and the outcome of this year's NBA Finals, I'm just going to bring up point number 5 from my Finals preview a week and a half ago. What kinds of lineups are we going to see? To me, the answer to this question ended up being the deciding factor in the series.

Going into the series, seasoned basketball fans universally acknowledged that this season's incarnation of the Heat was slightly worse than the version of Miami that eked out a Game 7 win against San Antonio last year, while this season's Spurs were better and deeper. However, we also wondered aloud if Miami's possession of the best player on the planet and the ability to rise to the occasion would trump that. Games 1 and 2 of this year's series didn't do much to change those thoughts, as Heat-apologists could argue that Miami was a LeBron James full body cramp away from going back home with a 2-0 series lead.

And then we all witnessed the Spurs layeth the smacketh down on the Heat for 3 straight games. So, what the hell happened? Coach Popovich finally figured out how to utilize his roster's advantages and pick apart the Heat's lack of depth. In Game 3, Popovich inserted Boris Diaw into the starting lineup over Tiago Splitter. Splitter's plodding style is mostly rendered ineffective against Miami's small ball heavy lineups. Diaw's versatility and ability to move the ball was a much better fit. Splitter's minutes decreased every game (23, 19, 16, 15, and 11), while Diaw's minutes increased from 32.5 mpg in the 1st 2 games to 37 mpg in the last 3. With Manu Ginobili rolling and Miami's point guards completely overmatched, Popovich also ditched Marco Belinelli (20 mpg in 1st 2 games and just over 6 mpg in the last 3 games) for the ultra-quick Patty Mills (13.5 mpg 1st 2 games/over 16 mpg last 3 games).

The Spurs' depth and ability to make rotation adjustments on the fly proved to be the difference.

Meanwhile, Heat Coach Eric Spoelstra had no where left to search for offensive production. Bosh had a solid but unspectacular series. Wade looked like he's on his last legs more than ever. But the 2013-2014 Heat had no Mike Miller to turn to. The Mario Chalmers/Norris Cole point guard platoon fell flat on its face. Ray Allen is more 1-dimensional now than ever before. Birdman Anderson didn't look quite as spry as he had in years past. And Udonis Haslem and Shane Battier appear to be done as impact players (literally done for Battier). While I wondered all postseason if Michael Beasley was worth giving a few minutes a game, it's obvious that Spoelstra for whatever reason didn't trust B-EZ and Greg Oden given the stage. What I thought would be offseason steals for Miami wound up being huge whiffs in retooling that bench mob.

Rashard Lewis played admirably when pressed into starting duty and important minutes for the 1st time in his 2 years in Miami, but that was all Miami's role players had to offer. The Chalmers/Coles situation got so bad that Allen started Game 5, and Mar-orris Cham-oles played only 24 minutes. But as Coach Spoelstra searched for a combination that worked, this tweak only made Miami's already weak bench situation even uglier. With Allen starting, the Heat's 2nd unit had no scoring punch whatsoever. So, after the Heat raced out to a 22-6 start, there was no where for them to go but down.

All this while the best player in the world had a great series individually: 28 ppg, 8 rpg, and 4 apg on a hyper-efficient 57% from the floor. How do you beat the Heat while James still plays at an all-world level? Make sure you K-I-L-T everyone else, that's how.

Can't Wait For Round 2: Wrapping Up Season 1 Of The 100

So, to get away from the constant stream of NBA posts, how about a little TV? Post-apocalyptic settings are all the rage these days in TV land, from zombies to alien invasions to nuclear fallouts. There are so many that not all are bound to make it, such as NBC's Revolution (which Krissy and I enjoyed, for the record).

Another such show is the CW's The 100, which just wrapped up it's debut season last night. In recent years, the CW (then WB) has kind of moved away from the smarmy night time teen soaps like Dawson's Creek and One Tree Hill. If the failed reboot of 90201 isn't evidence of this, then I don't know what is. They are still targeting that same age range, but over the years they at least have shown the good sense to infuse these basic premises with more and more backdrops like superheroes (Smallville and Arrow), sci-fy (Roswell and Supernatural), and, of course, vampires (The Vampire Diaries).

The 100 fits mostly in that sci-fy category. I was intrigued at the concept because it looked kind of like Lost meets Lord of the Flies. It started out a little slow I think, and the writing could be a little better. For example, when the 100 land on planet Earth, you would expect there to be some extracurricular activities for a gang of teenagers living for the 1st time without parental supervision. But they seem to have a 3 day bone-fest before ever finding anything to eat or drink...and then are we to accept the idea that 1 mountain lion is able to feed 100 ravenous kids? So, you have to suspend your disbelief at times.

At least wait a couple weeks to start touching each other's naughty parts like these 2.

But The 100 started gaining steam about midway through Season 1 when the group captured a "grounder." Of course, one of the coeds couldn't help falling for his rugged good looks, caveman tats, and heart of gold, which pretty much spurned on the rest of the action. As is custom these days, The 100 couldn't help but leave us with a complete cliffhanger at Season 1's end, but there are a lot of ways Season 2 could go. This is especially true with the introduction of more groups on post-nuclear-war Earth. The 100 and the grounders we knew about already, but now we have terrifyingly cannibalistic "reapers," the surviving adults from the Ark, and the "mountain men," who were not what I was expecting at all compared to what they were revealed as! (I envisioned basically grounders on plutonium-enriched steroids with lumberjack beards, not special forces agents sporting futuristic military tech). And where will Octavio and Lincoln wind up? What the f*** happened to Finn after he was locked out of the ship?

Time to make beautiful Ark-grounder babies, I guess.

Regardless, I think The 100 has some legs. Can't wait to see where the go with it this fall.

Spurs-Heat, Game 3: San Antonio Spits Hot Fire

As I watched, I could hardly believe what I was seeing. The numbers were incredible. The Miami Heat shot 56% from the floor in the 1st half, scored 50 points...and trailed by 21 heading into the break!

Actually, it looked like the Heat couldn't believe it either.

The Spurs broke out probably the greatest shooting display I've ever seen in my 29-plus years on planet Earth: 71 1st half points, making 19 of their 1st 21 attempts from the floor, shooting 76% from the field after 2 quarters. After Game 2, I broke out a bullet list of 5 my main thoughts from the game...no such list necessary today.

Any other analysis other than the Spurs shot the lights out is completely unnecessary and absurd. Maybe the 1 other point you could make is that Miami was too careless with the ball. They coughed it up 20 times on the night (LeBron James had 7 and Dwyane Wade had 5), which only served to pile on in San Antonio's offensive fireworks display. Miami also had a couple defensive lapses early on that led to Spurs' layups, but on this night even when they played solid D the Spurs shot-making rendered it irrelevant.

But stop with everything else, please. People trying to make a story out of Kawhi Leonard outplaying James are silly. For the record, LeBron scored 22 points on only 14 shots, grabbed 5 boards, dished out 7 assists, and was the only thing even keeping the Heat within shouting distance of the Spurs early on. How badly Tony Parker and Patty Mills have outplayed Miami's point guards may be consequential in the grand scheme of things of this series, but it's merely a footnote for this particular game.

After 2 mediocre games, Leonard was a stud last night.

All you need to know are the offensive numbers from 2 paragraphs ago. As the saying goes though, in the NBA, everybody makes a run, and Miami predictably scrapped back into the game in the 2nd half. Several times, they trimmed the deficit to single digits, but the Spurs always seemed to push the lead back out to a comfortable 14 points or so. The fact is that unless Miami matched San Antonio's historic 1st half output in half number 2 or the Spurs simply stopped scoring the ball completely, the Heat had no chance. As another NBA cliche goes, it's a make or miss league. And the Spurs didn't miss very often.

Here's the most basic fact of all: if the Spurs shoot anything close to that again, there's nothing the Heat can do about it, and this series will be short and sweet...end of story.