Maddening

It’s a Monday morning following a 3 day weekend, so it goes without saying that I am not motivated to do any real work. Sadly, I actually have stuff that needs to get done at work for once too, but I just can’t seem to get myself moving. And what could be a more appropriate blog post topic for my current laziness than video games? I have never been what you would call a “gamer,” but for some reason I have recently been on somewhat of a Madden binge. Like I said though, I have never really been a big gamer, so to me a “binge” might consist of playing 4 or 5 hours a week. Anyway, prior to the last couple of weeks I never played against the computer in anything but All-Pro (I had used All-Madden, but only while playing people head-to-head), but I set my most recent Madden franchise to the All-Madden skill level using my crappy hometown Redskins. I’m not the most hardcore Madden player, but All-Pro is just too easy when playing against the computer. Even I can take a weak franchise and cruise to a 15-1 type season and a Super Bowl win while winning most games by at least 3 or 4 touchdowns. When playing on All-Madden, I at first thought I was just a little bit rusty from not having consistently played in awhile, as I got dusted by scores like 63-21 and 56-10 by the Jets and Ravens during the preseason. I hadn’t really gotten frustrated yet to that point. I knew I was getting beat, but I blamed real-life Skins owner Dan Snyder for just how large my margins of defeat were, as his personnel decisions had sapped the team’s depth over the years to the point where the other team’s benches were so much better than mine that it was laughable. I was always losing at halftime, but the 2nd half of these preseason games (when my benchwarmers were going against the other team’s) was when I was really getting smashed.

I didn’t start to pull the hair out of my head until the regular season started though, when it became apparent that when playing against the computer the All-Madden setting is simply too hard. While it’s difficult to tell at times, I can safely say that my play has steadily improved from when I 1st began this new franchise. Still, I’m currently 0-5 in the regular season, with most of the outcomes not that far off from those preseason scores I mentioned before. I am not sure off the top of my head what my worst performance was, but the game that I felt most emasculated after was the something like 52-0 home drubbing suffered at the hands of the unstoppable All-Madden superhuman Packers. It’s gotten to the point that if I’m only losing 17-3 or something like that midway through the 2nd quarter, and Krissy happens to glance at the screen she will say in a perfectly serious voice, “Wow babe, you’re playing well.” The 1st couple of times she made that kind of comment I wanted to throw my shoe through the television screen, but really she’s 100% right.

The All-Madden setting is so hard that it is really borderline cheating. I’m not sure whether playing offense or defense is more frustrating. Probably the most maddening (no pun intended) thing overall is how the computer completely and utterly dominates the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball. My offensive line (which I would call respectable, but not great) looks like a sieve playing against the CPU’s superhuman d-linemen. Unless you randomly catch the computer D in some type of obvious pass defense formation with only 5 or 6 guys in the box, you pretty much have to forget trying to run the ball…even then, the holes close up so quickly that a 4 or 5 yard gain is cause for minor celebration. And yet, your best chance at keeping the score close is by being patient and continuing to try to mix in the run as much as possible. If you can stomach the no gains and 3 yard losses, it at least keeps the clock running and shortens the game a little bit. If you think trying to run the ball while 3 defenders penetrate into the backfield is no fun, try passing the ball in the same situation. Donavan McNabb has been lying on his back more in this virtual season than a $2 hooker. I think all of this hurts my offense more than it would others because when I play against the computer on All-Pro or against other actual people I like to rely on the run and the play action pass…and it’s tough to do either when your QB/RB is constantly running for his life behind the line of scrimmage. Screen passes were also always a favorite of mine, but those also become exponentially more difficult when the superhuman linebackers and defensive backs always expertly knife through my would-be blockers on the way to the ballcarrier. As a result, I basically have ended up calling a lot of short crossing patterns using 3 and 4 wide receiver sets to try to get the ball out of McNabb’s hands quickly. With that being said, the majority of my pass attempts are still checkdowns to Portis out of the backfield and Cooley. In the rare event that I do call the perfect pass play for a given defense and have time to throw, there’s probably a 50-50 chance that the receiver either drops the ball or McNabb throws the ball straight into the ground. Either way, you’re pretty much screwed.

Playing defense against the computer on All-Madden is equally if not more soul-crushing than playing offense. Probably the worst part is trying to stop the run. Whereas you might consider 2 or 3 yards per carry a monumental success for your offense when playing on All-Madden, the CPU All-Madden running backs continually rip off 6 and 8 yard runs even against run blitzes. The superhuman CPU backs almost never can be brought down by 1 defender, and routinely break multiple tackles on a single play. At least once a game, expect the back to be seemingly bottled-up only to break loose and run for a 30+ yard score. Just like when playing on offense against the superhuman CPU d-linemen, the All-Madden computer offensive linemen make it look as if the mid-90’s Dallas Cowboys are playing against your high school’s junior varsity. Sometimes I will watch the instant replay after the computer makes a nice running play, and my entire defensive line will have gotten pancake-blocked…at the same time. On passing plays, if you don’t blitz, you are not getting to the quarterback, and even then the line usually stonewalls every defender creating a perfect pocket. If you somehow magically force the computer into a 3rd and 17 or something, a receiver will inevitably run down the seam and catch a pass for 22 yards. If you do somehow stumble into perfect coverage, don’t expect your defenders to corral any interceptions even if it is thrown directly to them…meanwhile, the computer’s superhuman defense has no trouble making one-handed diving picks look routine. Also, happen to force a fumble? Don’t count on recovering it…I have yet to win a fight for a fumble playing on All-Madden.

While I’m probably on the way to an 0-16 season, I’ve taken solace in a couple of things. 1st, I think I’m a lock for getting the #1 overall draft pick should I continue my franchise for a 2nd season. 2nd, despite the I have pretty much gotten sha-lacked in every game so far, I do feel like playing on All-Madden is making me a better player overall. Your playcalls have to be perfect. On offense, you HAVE TO pick the right gap on running plays and pick the right receiver to throw to (and throw to them on time). You HAVE TO read the defenses better both pre-snap and post-snap. And you HAVE TO make quicker decisions because the pocket is collapsing and oh-my-damn you are about to get broken in half by Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis…sorry, flashback. The same concepts can be applied to defense as well. Even if you do all these things, you are probably still going to get crushed, but if you don’t at least do these you have no chance at all. 3rd, apparently I’m not the only one who’s had these problems. Over the last couple of weeks I had started to think that I must be the worst player in the history of Madden. I asked my brother-in-law, Frankie (an avid Madden player), how he normally does against the computer when playing on All-Madden, and he responded emphatically, “It’s impossible. I can’t do anything.” This was actually pretty comforting because I have played Frankie dozens of times in Madden, and I would say that we matchup pretty evenly. I also did a quick Google-search of “All-Madden franchise,” and there are dozens of Madden message boards that pretty much echoed my thinking: that even for hardcore Madden gamers, the makers of the game simply made the All-Madden setting too damn hard. Supposedly, if you make a franchise on All-Madden and continue to progress your franchise through several seasons, the ratings of your players will continue to progress and improve as well, thus improving your team…the problem is that the progression of the players is based on their individual stats, and it’s pretty hard to put up good stats if your team is losing by 4 touchdowns every game. So, to say it’s an uphill battle is an understatement.

My last game was against the Colts. I lost again, but the final score was only 24-7, which is my closest outcome to date. The key to keeping it that close was defense. I had 2 or 3 sacks. I forced 3 fumbles (of course, I only recovered 1). I held Addai to under 100 yards for the whole game (he still averaged almost 5 yards a carry, but I consider that a monumental achievement). I only scored 7 points, but I probably played better and smarter on offense than any game to this point. I missed a 30-something yard field goal, and fumbled away another scoring chance inside the red zone as well (which was actually more my fault than the computer “cheating”). Hypothetically, I left either 6 or 10 points out on the field, which could have brought me as close as 24-17, and that score wouldn’t have been indicative of a “sha-lacking” at all. I think the worst record in the league by season’s end is still a lock at this point, but hopefully if I get just a little bit better (and luckier) I can sneak out 1 win before the season is over. If not, I guess there’s always that #1 pick.

Fever Blister

There is a somewhat cliché line about getting older that goes something like this: the older we get, it’s not the “day of” that gets harder; it’s the “day after.” I’ve echoed this before, and I believe it to be true. When I play pickup basketball or in our touch football league, I don’t think I’ve lost much physically (maybe half a step) from when I was eighteen, but the following day is a different story. As an eighteen year old, I could go hard for a couple hours one day, and then come back the next day and do the exact same thing. As an almost twenty-six year old, if I go hard for a couple hours one day, it’s just about out of the question to do anything at all the next day, and I might be moving pretty slow the day after that as well. It just takes longer to recover, plain and simple. And that goes for not only muscle recovery, but recovery of my little nagging injuries as well. I’ve been used to lacing up ankle braces, strapping on knee braces, and nursing nagging hamstring and groin injuries for awhile now. One of the things that I still haven’t gotten completely accustomed to is this achilles tendonitis, which I guess is just never going to go away for as long as I do anything that involves moving my body, but even that I have learned to deal with. One thing that is hard to stomach is what I will call “equipment induced injuries.” This past Christmas, I bought Krissy a new pair of basketball hightops. They were the white, black, and red CP3 III’s made by Jordan brand. I got them at the Nike Outlet near our apartment, so to say I got a good deal was an understatement. Anyway, they gave Krissy some blisters as she was breaking them in the first few weeks, but by all accounts she loved them, and so I eventually bought the same shoe in black, white, and blue. They were actually marked down even more when I bought them – $37 to be exact – so I thought I got even more of a steal.



The first couple of times I wore the shoes, I loved them. They are sharp-looking, they are light, and they were comfortable. I say “were” because the third or fourth time I wore them while playing ball my right heel was in so much pain that I almost felt like sitting out. I guess they still need to be broken in, but what’s weird is that I had no such pain the first few times I wore them. It’s a strange kind of pain also…it feels like a bad blister or burn, but neither Krissy nor I can see anything on my heel with the naked eye. And I feel like it has to be from the shoes because when I wear other sneakers the pain isn’t there. (It does hurt a little bit when I’m wearing dress shoes for work now, but that’s it.) Krissy suggested that the blister might be a result of the way the padding is designed in the heel, but I only have the “blister” on the one foot. Also, I went to the closet to pull out an old pair of Melo’s (also Jordan brand), which happen to have the same heel padding as these CP3’s, and I never had any kind of blister or anything from wearing them…so, what the hell?!? In effect, I have some kind of “blister mystery” here. I think Krissy may have thought I was losing it this past Sunday because after we got home from basketball I messed with the shoes for a good hour or so trying to feel for anything in the heel of the shoe that might have caused it. Anyway, I don’t have a great solution other than just trying to let the “blister thingy” heal and further break in the new sneakers, otherwise it’s going to be out with the new and in with the old…because I’m not getting another pair of sneakers right now, $37 or not.

I thought about doing a Super Bowl recap blog, but the result of the game kind of was what it was…while the finish was entertaining, it wasn’t a particularly well played game by either team. The matchup and the resulting outcome pretty much confirmed what we already knew. The Steelers (much like the Spurs in the NBA, in my opinion) will always be that solidly built team, and as long as they have Big Ben and a stingy D they will contend for championships. The Packers finally proved they were the team everyone thought they could be for the last two years. It wouldn’t be at all surprising if these two teams met up in a Super Bowl rematch in the not too distant future. To me, the coolest thing that came out of Super Bowl Sunday was one particular commercial. My Super Bowl viewing experience was kind of odd this year. Normally on Super Bowl Sunday, I can be found plopped down on the couch for seemingly the entire day, but this year Krissy and I were helping my parents do some stuff around their house during the afternoon. This resulted in us using a technological marvel known as a DVR to watch the game. Anyway, when you DVR anything, the natural tendency is to just fast forward through all the commercials, but during the Super Bowl the ads are sometimes as entertaining as the game itself. With that being said, Super Bowl commercials have been severely lacking the past few years, so I sped through 95% of them. I would occasionally hit play when I saw an E-Trade Baby ad or an ad with a chimp in a suit driving a car to work, but for the most part I fast forwarded through everything.

During one particular timeout, a car ad seemed to be running. I didn’t pay a great deal of attention to it, but as I was fast forwarding I noticed what I thought was Eminem towards the end of the ad. Being the huge Em fan that I am, I immediately rewinded to the beginning of the commercial to watch it in full. I have to say that as far as TV commercials go, it was brilliant. There was no slapstick comedy in it (like some guy getting hit in the balls or Betty White getting tackled into a pool of mud), no grandiose or expensive looking CGI, and no self-important tagline where the ad-makers think they are a lot more clever than they really are. The camera brings you through what looks like authentic Detroit. The narrator tells you of the struggles and perseverance of the city, and Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” starts to quietly build in the background. The narrator says something to the effect of, “This isn’t New York City, the Windy City, and it’s definitely not the Emerald City.” The camera cuts to Eminem getting out of a Chrysler, and stepping into Detroit’s world famous Fox Theatre where a Gospel choir continues to lead into the instrumental bridge of the song, and Eminem turns to the camera and says, “This is the Motor City, and this is what we do.” The commercial then ends with the words “Imported from Detroit” across the screen…now, I am already biased to liking anything involving Eminem, but it was just very cool. I am not from Detroit, nor do I have any affiliation with the city, but it was hard not to feel kind of proud after watching that. Detroit is as all-American and as blue-collar as any city in the country, and for me at least I couldn’t help feeling a little patriotism start to swell up. For a moment, it caused me to forget any notion I had of buying a Toyota, BMW, or Suburu…which is what makes the ad so smart and effective in the first place. I’m not saying I still don’t want to buy a Tacoma, but the ad definitely appeals to my wanting to buy a domestic vehicle when the time comes. Anyway, check out the Chrysler spot below and decide what you think for yourself.

Milestones

Couple of quick personal lifting-related notes for this post…

1st, I finally broke the 80 lb. barrier for dumbbell shoulder presses. For months, I hadn’t been able to move up past the 75’s. I always felt that if I could actually successfully get them above my head, I could get a good number of reps in with the 80’s, and it turns out my “feeling” was right. (I was able to rep them 9 times for 1 set.) Anyway, I don’t think anyone gets that hyped over shoulder milestones…it’s not like reaching a new one rep max when you’re benching or squatting or dead-lifting, but it was long-awaited, and I feel like my shoulder strength at least somewhat makes up for my (at times) disappointing chest strength.

2nd, I randomly weighed myself the other night. It was the 1st time I had weighed myself since the beginning of summer I believe, and I’m not sure exactly what brought this idea on. I believe it was just the curiosity of not having weighed myself in several months and seeing if my body was actually still changing as a result of lifting and whatnot. I have definitely gotten stronger in the gym, but I don’t take pictures of myself or measure myself in any other way really, so I didn’t really have a good idea of what I would weigh. Also, when I look in the mirror I don’t look drastically different (fatter or more muscular), and it’s not like I have had to buy all new clothes that fit either. Anyway, I figured I would weigh pretty much the same (between 190-195), but to my surprise I weighed-in at 201.5! Now, this was after dinner on a day that Krissy and I took off from the gym, but I have never weighed that much in my life. I weighed myself again the next morning before breakfast to get a more accurate measurement, and I weighed 198 lb., which is still my heaviest weight to date. With everything I said before regarding some small gains in strength and no noticeable difference in appearance, I guess this means that I have just gradually put on a few pounds of muscle. Still, anytime my weight goes up like that I do get a little nervous, so maybe I will just monitor it a little more closely in the coming weeks just to make sure I’m not stuffing my face or slacking on my cardio too much.