Good Ending Not Guaranteed

And for my 1st post of December, how about the glorious return of “terrible movie and TV show reviews?” Yea, get hyped, people. This week’s honor goes to Safety Not Guaranteed, which stars the younger funny girl from “Parks and Rec” and Nick from “New Girl”…I know what you’re thinking because it’s the same thing my wife and I were thinking when we rented it off iTunes: that’s not a bad start. And for the 1st hour or so, it didn’t disappoint. Yes, it gets a tad unrealistic at times. No interns for a b-list local magazine are going to risk life and limb for some goofy story idea, and there’s no way an even emotionally damaged Aubrey Plaza is going to fall for a late-30’s lunatic with a sweet side (a different guy than "New Girl"-Nick, by the way). But you can suspend your disbelief for a little while at least because the story pretty much breezes along, and Plaza and Nick-from-“New Girl” actually make you LOL (yes, I just typed that) from time to time.

Not a bad comedic duo at all.

But no one is going to buy Plaza sticking around past the next bus out of town when she finds out this time-travelling yahoo concocted some alternate reality in his own head about his past fictitious relationship or her being so bummed-out by the present and yearning for the past that she climbs on said wackjob’s death-contraption fashioned out of stolen government lasers, gyroscopes, transmogrofiers, and who knows what.

But even that is fine I guess as long as the movie didn’t have the ending it had. Have Plaza b****-slap the dude and let the FBI throw him in the back of a squad car as she looks all sad and mopey, have them climb on the time machine and it bursts into a raging inferno as soon as bizarro-Marty McFly hits the switch, but don’t have the stupid time machine seemingly work and blast the 2 into some alternate dimension! Don’t make the next screen the credits!

F***...

I guess this isn’t really a “terrible movie review” per se. It’s more a “pretty good movie review that went horribly wrong in the last 5 minutes.” And maybe I’m completely alone on this, and people universally loved the ending. It’s possible. It scored a 7.1/10 on Metacritic after all. I’m just not sure what they were going for with that ending other than maybe they thought other endings were far too obvious and they were trying to be hip and smart and edgy or something. All I know is I hadn’t WTF-ed (yes, I typed that too) that hard at a movie ending since The Departed, where everyone but Marky Mark bites the big one…just…no more of that, movie people. When the other movie I watch this weekend is Step Up Revolution, and that 1 ends up being the 1 I was less angered by, that’s not a great sign. For the love of…