As I began to pump my gas at a lonely I-95 rest stop early this morning before work, I accidentally bumped the super-duper-premium-ultra button instead of my normal regular-unleaded choice. But being too lazy to go to the effort of figuring out how to cancel the transaction and start over and not wanting to waste any more time in getting to the office as quickly as possible, I simply pumped gas into my pickup at a rate 30 cents per gallon more expensive than I would have otherwise paid. I rationalized the decision by saying that maybe at least for this 1 tank of gas I could have the benefits that primo-gas consumers enjoy regularly like supposedly better gas mileage, performance, etc…for me, that was kind of like what this sports weekend was like: games with bungling performances and decisions that somehow produced great results in the end. As dramatic as the games turned out, the weekend as a whole left a sour taste in my mouth. So, the idea that the 2013 divisional round was one of the best NFL playoff weekends ever is a little farfetched for me. Let’s start in reverse-chronological order with a game and sport that probably wasn’t on anyone else’s radar the past 2 days though…
Maryland at Miami…Of all things, why in the name of all things holy, would I include this game on this list? Well, with Washington TKO-ed from the postseason, I guess I had to interject a little local flavor. I must confess that I watched this game last night from beginning to end, and it was hard to stomach. The Terps held Miami to 34.9% shooting and 54 points for the game, and still lost! Not as hard to fathom when you realize Maryland themselves shot only 31%, committed 15 turnovers, and had only 14 points at halftime. While I still think the Terrapins can be good, I’m backing off my thoughts about them from a few weeks ago when they were still in the midst of a creampuff preseason schedule. Most of that has to do with Maryland’s guard play, which to be honest just isn’t very good. As a former big guy in middle school (before I cruelly and suddenly stopped growing), I can tell you that basketball is and always will be a game controlled by little guards on offense, and that doesn’t matter how good your big guys are. For much of last night’s game, whenever Maryland threw the ball to Alex Len he scored or drew a foul. While still somewhat of a project, at the same time he’s that good relative to the competition. But with Len in the game Maryland’s guards would still go seemingly a dozen offensive possessions in a row without even giving Len a touch on the inside, instead opting to dribble into tough shots over and over. As the 2nd half moved along, when Len would finally get a touch, he then found himself taking jumpshots from the outside. These are shots that he can make, but you would prefer to see him attacking the basket…but these shots are symptomatic of a big guy who knows if he doesn’t hoist a shot up when he gets a chance, it might be a while before he gets to touch the basketball again. Such is the curse of a gifted big guy playing with a slew of inexperienced perimeter players.
Houston at New England…Maybe the game with the least befuddling moments of the 4 playoff tilts this weekend, but while the Texans didn’t roll over and play dead this time, they didn’t exactly be all you can be either. Trailing by 3 scores in the 4th quarter, Houston’s offense seemed to take longer between plays than the Patriots no-huddle attack that they whip out in regular game situations. And speaking of those fast-break sequences, the Texans seemed ill-prepared for it…but then again, it seems like everyone else has been also.
Seattle at Atlanta…It’s easy to look the other way at Russell Westbrook’s gaffe prior to halftime because he was brilliant in the 2nd half and because he’s a f***ing rookie for Pete’s sake, but it did cost the Seahawks 3 points in a game they lost by 2… but there were so many blunders that set up the storybook finish in this one that we can just sweep it under the rug all together. The Falcons’ 4th quarter playcalling…Seattle’s pass defense that allowed Atlanta to go 41 yards in 2 plays that chewed up like 18 seconds to set up the game-winning field goal…Mike Smith calling a timeout with 12 seconds left instead of like, I don’t know, 2…Matt Bryant s****ing the bed on an attempted squib kick that gave the Seahawks the ball nearly at midfield…yes, the Falcons survived and moved on, but it certainly seemed to be in spite of themselves.
Even with a W, the Falcons had some 'splaining to do.
Green Bay at San Francisco…More full disclosure, I passed out on my couch midway through the 4th quarter, but truthfully anyone who had watched that much had seen enough anyway by then. Like New England on Sunday, San Francisco was in control pretty much the whole night, but the most glaring aspect of the game was Green Bay’s inability to stop Colin Kaepernick on zone-read plays…to the tune of a quarterback record 181 rushing yards. With more teams employing athletic quarterbacks who are running threats, these kinds of plays can no longer be thought of as gimmicky, college, trick plays. Why defenses continue to have their edge linebacker or defensive lineman charge down the backside of these plays is beyond me. Their assignment is usually to stay at home (regardless of a zone-read or not) to guard against bootlegs, cutbacks, and other misdirection plays, and when they do come flying off the edge it’s rare that they ever chase down a running back from behind anyway, so why? Guys like Kaepernick, Wilson, a healthy RG3, or Cam Newton are good enough runners as it is, but not staying at home allows them huge gains, often times untouched (as we saw Saturday night).
Baltimore at Denver…Saving the biggest derp team of the weekend for last, we come to the Denver Broncos. While the Falcons did everything they could to lose at the end of a game, they get somewhat of a pass because they did in fact win. Denver did not, and so they do not. Down 7, Baltimore tied the game late on a long bomb to Jacoby Jones where Broncos' safety Rahim Moore seemed to be in perfect position to make the game-icing interception…only he took a terrible angle and jumped about an hour too soon, causing the ball to fall to Jones. And this wasn’t even a great throw by Joe Flacco, as the ball was behind Jones and hung in the air for an hour, as Jones had to come to basically a complete stop to make the grab. It was such a bad defensive play that you usually don't see the likes of it in my weekend co-ed touch football league, much less a league of professionals. Probably the most surprised of all were Jones and Flacco, who both seemed stunned that the desperation heave actually worked. To top it all off, Denver got the ball back with 30 seconds left in regulation and a couple of timeouts, and they took a knee! Didn’t they see the end of the Seahawks-Falcons game from earlier? Oh no, wait they didn’t…I forgot I wrote this post in reverse-chronological order.
Mother of...
Anyway, just terrible decision-making all weekend long in the sports world. So, greatest weekend of playoff football ever? More like playoff football weekend filled with the most screw-ups that resulted in drama ever…ok, so the tagline needs some work, but you get the idea.
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