The Kobe System: Can We Put the Black Mamba Out to Pasture Already?

I know that many basketball fans and analysts gush about him and what his production still is at this point in his career, but count me as one of those people who’s just about had enough of Kobe Bryant. Kobe hasn’t done anything in particular to draw my ire, really. In fact, he was great in Sunday night’s win over the Hawks…dunking over Josh Smith and then hitting what was essentially the game-winning shot moments later. But I seriously wouldn’t mind at all if Kobe just retired and went away already.

Kobe has had a phenomenal career, but I, for one, have had enough.

This is coming from a guy who used to like Kobe, a guy who used to dig that he did Nutella commercials and spoke fluent Italian, a guy who had a giant poster of young afro-sporting Kobe on his wall when he was still living with the ‘rents. But somewhere along the way, I grew tired of his act. Maybe it was the rape trial. Maybe it was his failure to coexist with Shaq. Maybe it was the fact that every move of his seemed very contrived and orchestrated. Maybe it’s that his supreme level of arrogance seemed to dwarf that of even one of the most arrogant collections of people (pro athletes) on the planet. Or maybe it’s the constant comparisons to Michael Jordan, which I will vehemently argue against, but that may be a different blog for a different day (don’t get me started if you think Kobe's on MJ's level, please).

Or maybe it’s the constant slobbering over him by the media, or the insistence that he is one of the great clutch players ever (his “crunch-time” stats show he’s really kind of average…he just seems to get more opportunities in those situations than anyone else), or the notion that he is or ever was a lock-down defender, or the marveling at his ability to still score at an extremely high and efficient rate, when the truth is the Lakers have actually been worse the more he scores this season. And I know it was a slow news week at the time it happened, but if I have to hear about how Kobe blocked LeBron twice in the All-Star game one more time, I’m going to be sick. I’m sorry, it’s a big deal that he blocked someone’s shot in an exhibition game where everyone else was barely trying? That’s when you try to exert your dominance and show that you’re still the big dog on the block, Kobe? Where were you when you lost to and got personally outplayed by LeBron in actual games earlier this season?

Gimme that weak, All-Star game s***!

The worst part in all of this is that despite the Lakers’ troubles all season, they are going to make the playoffs. I know this. They are only 2 games out of the 8th seed in the West as we speak. They have Utah, Houston, and Golden State sitting ahead of them, none of which are exactly confidence-inspiring at the moment. They are going to get in somehow, someway, and I’m going to have to hear all about the greatness that is Kobe Bryant and how Kobe willed this team to the playoffs on his own all over again. And despite everything I already wrote, this is all coming from a guy that thinks Kobe is 1 of the top 10 all-time greats. But I’ve had enough. Save it for the retirement speech. Please, spare me anymore Kobe-worshiping for the time being.