Weekend Round-Up: Skins Win, Preventive Icing Begins, and Taking It on the Chin

The Redskins got their 1st win of the season yesterday. The question is this: how exactly am I supposed to feel about it? If you watched the game in a vacuum as a Redskins’ fan, you probably came away from the game feeling pretty good. They won on the road. Their defense was suffocating, with a pick-6 and 7 sacks. The offense had a pretty good day running the ball, and they made just enough plays through the air to win the game. But then if you go outside of that vacuum, you remember that this is the Raiders after all…a Raiders team that didn’t even dress their starting quarterback and who lost their best offensive player for the day pretty much as soon as the game started. That might make you pump the brakes slightly. And then you would also remember that the Redskins play in what looks like a truly dreadful division this season, the NFC East. While Washington eked out their 1st win of the year, they scoreboard-watched all 3 of their rivals lose in one fashion or another. With all of that, Washington is only a game out of 1st place in said sorry-a** division as we speak…go figure.

David Amerson's INT for a TD as the Redskins trailed 14-zip in the 1st half may have saved Washington's season...for now.

There was a time when the below image (or ones like it) would make me laugh.

Umm...what?

What is the ice for? No injury occurred! And yet now at my advance age of 28 and a half, let’s just say I get it…even if Krissy, who is the same age and is just as (if not more so) active as I am laughs at me when she walks in a room only to see me with frozen bags of corn and green beans draped all over my body.

There’s not much worse in sports fandom than having a bad fantasy football team. When you’re bad in the beginning of the year, you almost always stay bad. Players don’t just magically get better or uninjured in the middle of the year, and while free agent pick-ups are always crucial, it's unusual for 1 player alone to swing you from the bottom of the league to the top. And when you are your league’s resident cellar-dweller, other managers are looking to fleece you for what little value your team does have…and you almost have to oblige! Beggars can’t be choosers, and let’s face it…if your team stinks, you have to at least consider what normally would be offensive offers. But what is one to do when your roster doesn’t have a top tier running back to speak of, and your best players have underachieved? Either take it on the chin the rest of the season or bite the bullet and start cleaning house I suppose…

Ad Nauseum: Get Your A** Back to School

It’s been over 3 months since we’ve had an Ad Nauseum entry, so why not go slightly off the beaten path for its return? Ok, how about way off the beaten path?

99.9% of YouTube ads are so frustrating and infuriating that many times a part of you wants to close your browser before ever even getting to the video you want to see. When a YouTube ad makes you actually do a YouTube search of that YouTube ad, that’s when you know you’ve got something. This China, IL song did just that though.

There was a 2 year period where my friends Patrick, Mac, and I were all about Adult Swim’s ridiculous cartoon series Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Since I stopped watching that, I haven’t bothered to come back to the channel. This clip made me at least watch a minute or so of an episode online…a minute of my life that I quickly wished I could have back somehow, as the show seemed a little out there even for Adult Swim.

Still, I have to admit I’ve clicked replay on the “Get You’re A** Back to School” video at least a dozen times already…it’s just so good, girl! I don’t know what it is specifically that I like about it. The characters not-so-chiseled physiques and their not-so-on-point dance moves (spilling some kind of beverage out of their Solo cups) hit a little too close to home perhaps. And what the f*** are they doing with their stencils in China, IL, anyway? And the song…for f***’s sake, finish the song Adult Swim!

…so good, girl.

We Never Knew Ye: Songs That Leave You Wanting More

3 straight days with a post after a month with not so much as a peep? So it goes in B-Court All-Star land.

Shuffling through the song library on my iPhone on the way home from work earlier this week, Method Man and Redman’s “Da Rockwilder” came on. It’s one of those classic hip-hop songs that’s great to bump in your car or blow out your headphones with in the middle of a training session. The other thing that always struck me about it was it’s length…

...it’s barely 2 minutes long. (Igonore the video length…about 20 seconds in the middle of the vid is some nonsense about “stank butt jeans.”) But “Da Rockwilder could easily be a verse each longer from Red and Meth, and it would still leave you wanting more. It got me thinking about other great songs that are just too short.

“Apologize” was a slow melodic pop tune from OneRepublic. It stayed at or near the top of the charts for about half a year when it debuted, but the version I’ll always remember is Lil Wayne and Bun B’s remix to it. Speed up the track, lace a beat to it, put Weezy on it, and now you’ve got something…but 1 verse each? Come on, man.

When I bought Jay-Z’s The Black Album, it was supposed to be his last before he rode off into the music biz sunset. Well 10 years, a gazillion records later, and Jay’s still putting out music…shocker, I know. When I 1st bought it, I knew about the half dozen or so singles that got decent radio play. What I didn’t know about were some of the hidden gems like “Public Service Announcement.” At 1st you think “PSA” is nothing more than an interlude, but it quickly became my favorite track on the album. The only problem was it was only 2 verses long, and a good portion of the song uses a couple samples as filler…ahh well, it was good while it lasted.

I’m sure I could have come up with a more comprehensive list, but these 3 are the ones I could come up with off the top of my head at least. If anyone actually reads this and wants to chime in with their own entries, feel free.

Doing Work: The Oh-So Prolific Anthony Mackie

Krissy and I plopped on the coach sometime last week to watch Pain & Gain. If possible, it was both disappointing as a whole and surprisingly funny in spurts at the same time. There was one thought I couldn’t escape throughout the whole thing though: damn, that black dude’s in a lot of movies

For the record, this movie wasn't what I expected at all.

Of course, “that black dude” is none other than Anthony Mackie. While not getting much love as a lead actor in a feature film, Mackie has gotten a lot of run the past few years as a prominent “that other guy.” Take a look at his IMDB page sometime when you get a chance. In the past 5 years (since 2008), he’s played the army major in charge of the creepy self-aware computer system in Eagle Eye, Matt Damon’s helper/guardian/pseudo-angel in The Adjustment Bureau, another guy in the robot fight game in Real Steel, the gay congressman in What’s Your Number?, one of the crooked cops in Man on a Ledge, a member of the Gangster Squad, and the, umm, testicularly challenged bodybuilder in the aforementioned Pain & Gain.

He’s been in so much stuff that you forget he was Eminem’s foil Papa Doc (aka Clarence) in 8 Mile (his 1st real movie role), a member of the beleaguered football team in We Are Marshall, or the narrator for one of ESPN’s 30 for 30 episodes. (One that I watched by the way...who knew?) Showing my lack of movie prowess, he’s also been in a couple things that I haven’t seen yet, but surely will at some point: Million Dollar Baby, The Hurt Locker, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and he even apparently played Tupac in the Biggie movie, Notorious. So, to say he’s got some range would be an understatement.

And not to pimp him out too much, but it looks like he’s going to be in some movies that you are probably going to want to take a look at in the near future too: the JT/Ben Affleck drama Runner Runner as well as the sequels to Captain America and The Avengers to name a few. If you could bet somewhere that Mackie would get double digit movie credits in 2014, I’d be all over that.

Anti-Climatic: Griffin and Redskins Flop in Opener to Eagles

I have a pile of work sitting on my desk as tall as me, but after watching the Redskins' Monday Night Football loss last night to the Eagles, I can't resist. After all the hype and anticipation, last night RG3 looked exactly like what he is: a guy coming off a serious knee injury that hasn't played any real football in 8 months.

 The pregame intro was pretty hype...and it pretty much went downhill from there.

Sure, Chip Kelly's new offense was nothing short of eye-popping in the 1st half, but they did take their foot off the gas and came back to Earth a little bit in the 2nd half. Still, I think that was slightly aided by the fact that no one had seen this offense in the pros yet, and Griffin and the Redskins offense gave the ball away in the 1st half like they were serving up free samples at your local supermarket.

No, to me (no surprise) the real story was RG3 and the Redskins. John Gruden lamented that Griffin looked rusty, tentative, and didn't appear to be getting a lot of zip on some throws. I believe the 1st 2 points to be true, but on the other hand I didn't really see the lack of velocity on most of his passes. Griffin’s rust seemed to display itself mostly in mental mistakes. His 1st interception was a ball thrown into at least double coverage to Santana Moss, and Moss simply wasn’t open. His pitch to Alfred Morris along the goal line was too high and outside, which resulted in a safety. His 2nd pickle, on an out pattern to Moss, was thrown a beat late...which is a recipe for disaster on that particular route.

The moment I at least stopped worrying about the possibility of Griffin’s knee spontaneously combusting was on a 4th quarter scramble to escape the pocket. It was the kind of Houdini bulls*** that you saw RG3 employ when he was healthy last year...the near come-from-behind win against the Giants on the road comes to mind in particular. However, once escaping, Griffin’s throw to Leonard Hankerson sailed over his head incomplete...yet another sign that Griffin was still ironing out the kinks.

Washington's other biggest problem this year might be public perception. As a reigning division champion technically returning basically all of their starters from last season, they are being thought of by some as a possible Super Bowl candidate, which to me is ludicrous. 1st of all, unless you are a dominant team, a degree of luck always plays a part in your record. The Skins were only 10-6 last year. 1 more loss to a division foe, which they very easily could've had, and they go from hosting a playoff game to not even being in the playoffs at all. Also, consider the fact that they have had to withstand an $18 million salary cap hit each of the last 2 years. I'm not a capalogist, but to me that's somewhere between a couple to several starting caliber NFL players. You think the rest of the offense, where aside from RG3 and Trent Williams there aren’t really any blue chip players, could use some of that cap room? You think a defense that still boasts 38 year old London Fletcher as its most important player (and that’s not a good thing) could use it? Especially a defensive secondary that is not NFL worthy at all? The answer to all of those is a big fat yes.

The fact is that even with a competent replacement level quarterback under center instead of Griffin (and I’m actually a Kirk Cousins fan), this is a 4 or 5 win team. Alfred Morris is a solid back. They make up for their lack of a big play receiver with some decent depth at the position. Ryan Kerrigan and Brian Orakpo look like great bookend rush linebackers when healthy, at least on paper. Overall, the talent just isn’t there. You can say it’s a good thing that they basically return their entire team from a year ago if you want. I counter that they weren’t able to and didn’t improve their roster in any way during the offseason. Combine that with Griffin working his way back into football shape on the fly and a 1st place schedule on their plate, and the Redskins might be looking at a lost season here already…just saying.